A woman going through chemotherapy recently turned to Reddit for some advice. She wanted to know if she’d wrong when she told her boyfriend that she couldn’t do his meal prep for him, or was he to blame?
These Are Hard Times for Her
The Original Poster (OP) is a 31-year-old woman.
She’s currently battling a rare form of cancer called Synovial sarcoma and has been undergoing chemotherapy since the beginning of January.
A Host of Side Effects
It’s a physically and emotionally challenging time for her, as the treatment is very taxing on her body, causing extreme fatigue, nausea, and a host of other side effects.
She spends 8 hours a day, five days a week, in the cancer center, enduring a grueling regimen that leaves her feeling drained and vulnerable.
Meal Prep Request
One night, her boyfriend, K (24), asked her if she would do his meal prep for the next week.
She was hesitant, knowing that she wouldn’t be feeling her best and would likely need to focus on her own health and well-being during this difficult time.
Doing Her Best
But she’s too lovely – she didn’t want to upset him by saying no outright, so told him that she would try to do it when she felt better.
Pushing the Issue
However, K wasn’t satisfied with that answer and kept pushing the issue, insisting that she should “just try” to make his meals.
This made OP feel frustrated and agitated, as she was already dealing with so much and didn’t want K to burden her with extra chores!
She wanted to feel coddled and taken care of during this difficult time in her life, not pushed to do more than she was capable of – and who could blame her?
To make matters worse, K’s request wasn’t just for one meal – he wanted her to prepare his entire week’s worth of food. This seemed like a lot to ask, especially given the circumstances.
K works early morning and gets out in the early afternoon, so he has plenty of time to make his own meals.
She thinks that because he’s just 24, he still wants to be taken care of at this point in his life. She understood that, but she didn’t want him to make her feel guilty for not being able to do more.
She’s Looking After Him
OP felt like K wasn’t acknowledging the efforts she was already making to take care of him. Whenever he was at her place, she would offer him food, cook meals, or make a sandwich, depending on the day.
She would also massage him and ask about his life, making an effort to show that she cared about him and his well-being.
A Difference In Opinion
By refusing to do his meal prep, she wasn’t being selfish or neglecting their relationship; she was just trying to prioritize her own health and well-being.
But K didn’t see it that way. He blew up at her, saying that acts of service were his love language and that their relationship was one-sided.
He accused her of not doing enough for him and making everything about her illness.
OP felt hurt and frustrated by his words, especially since she knew she was already doing her best under difficult circumstances.
Following that, he sent her a barrage of angry texts, which OP found difficult to handle because she wasn’t much for arguing.
The kicker here is that K doesn’t even do all that much for her. He takes out her trash when she asks him to and will give her a massage when her body hurts. That’s it!
Not One to Ask for Help
Once, he had helped her walk when she had a reaction to medication that caused excruciating bone pain throughout her body, but usually, she’s not one to ask for help – it’s out of her nature.
She does appreciate these acts and has never complained, but it is a bit rich to demand so much from someone – especially someone undergoing such intense chemotherapy!
She Didn’t Argue Back
Despite K’s angry texts and accusations, OP tried not to argue back too much. She knew that it wouldn’t do any good and would only make her feel worse.
She was confused by this entire ordeal and needed an outside opinion, hence her post to Reddit. She wanted to know if she was in the wrong for saying no to him.
Wait for It…
Redditors, however overwhelmingly backed her side. They thought it was crazy how much K was prioritizing himself in the relationship when she was battling cancer. They thought he needed to grow up and fast; otherwise, he risks losing OP – who sounds like a great partner!
One user said, “Your BF is absolutely right that your relationship is one-sided. You’re the only one putting in the effort. Dump him and concentrate on you. Cancer isn’t just a physical battle, but a mental and emotional one as well. You don’t need his trash on top of everything else!”
What do you think about this story? Is her boyfriend being immature? Should she dump him and find someone that will look after her?
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.