A recent post on Reddit saw a distressed father asking if he’d behaved badly by refusing to comfort his daughter after she’d got hurt. Let’s see what happened!
He’s a Single Dad
Meet our storyteller, a single dad in his thirties.
He has always had a close relationship with his daughter, who is now thirteen years old, but sadly she struggles with chronic joint pain.
Managing Her Pain
He has always tried to do his best to help his daughter manage her pain and make her feel comfortable, but there are times when even his best efforts fall short.
One such incident occurred recently, and it’s been weighing heavily on his mind.
It all started when his sister asked him to watch her golden retriever for a few days.
The dog was full of energy and loved to play, and his daughter was excited to have a new furry playmate.
She Loved Playing With the Dog
However, the original poster (OP) was worried about the effect the dog’s rough play would have on his daughter’s already sore joints.
He warned her that playing too hard with the dog could lead to more pain, but she brushed off his concern, as kids do!
I Told You So
Despite his misgivings, OP let his daughter continue playing with the dog for over an hour, roughhousing.
When she’d finished playing, he could tell that she was already feeling some discomfort.
Hiding the Pain
Throughout the day, she tried to hide her pain from him, but it was clear that she was in agony.
Mother Came for a Visit
His mother came over to visit and noticed his daughter’s discomfort, and when he told her what had happened, she got upset and said to him that he needed to grow up and stop being so stubborn!
She urged him to comfort her daughter, but he didn’t want to push her if she wasn’t willing to accept his help.
To be fair, his daughter knew that he would always be there for her if she needed him.
He had always done his best to provide her with comfort, even when her pain was at its worst.
Everything is FINE
But this time, she was determined to act like everything was fine, even though she was clearly hurting, and he didn’t want to have an “I told you so” moment with his daughter.
He understood that she was trying to be strong and independent, but at the same time, he couldn’t help feeling frustrated.
He had warned her about the consequences of playing too hard with the dog, but she had refused to listen.
Now, she was in pain, and he didn’t know how to help her.
Nothing You Can Do
As a parent, watching your child suffer is never easy.
Can’t Make a Decision
It’s especially difficult when there’s nothing you can do to alleviate their pain. OP couldn’t decide between wanting to comfort his daughter and respecting her decision to tough it out on her own.
He didn’t want to push her too hard, but he also didn’t want her to suffer needlessly.
What compounded the issue was that OP had tried to offer the things that would make her feel better, but she’d refused and stated she wasn’t in pain – even though he could tell she was!
Letting Her Take the Lead
In the end, he’d decided to let his daughter take the lead.
He would be there for her if she needed him, but he wouldn’t force her to accept his help.
It was a difficult decision, but he knew it was the right one.
Looking back on the incident, he realizes that he could have handled things differently.
He could have been more forceful with his daughter and insisted that she stop playing with the dog.
He could have comforted her even if she didn’t want him to. But at the time, he was just trying to do what he thought was best.
We All Make Mistakes
As parents, we all make mistakes.
We all have moments when we wish we could have done things differently. But the important thing is to learn from those mistakes and do better next time.
OP may not have handled the situation perfectly, but he did the best he could with the information he had. And that’s all any of us can do.
The reason he’d posted on Reddit was to find out if his decision was the correct one, but Reddit overwhelmingly disagreed with his methods. They thought he was being foolishly stubborn and should have pushed comfort onto his daughter, even if she’d rejected it.
Sharing Similar Experiences
They understood how hard it can be living with chronic pain, and one user said, “I was the kid with chronic pain. It was SO hard. You just want to do normal things but you pay for them every time. Sometimes you do them anyway, even if rationally it might not be wise because  you have to get some joy somewhere. Living with chronic pain can be a really really difficult and frankly depressing existence, be kind to your daughter.”
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The post His Daughter Is in Agony but This Stubborn Dad Has to Say “I Told You So” first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / BearFotos. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.