A woman took to Reddit recently to ask it she was in the wrong for putting pressure on her parent’s to leave her everything in their will whilst promising to take care of her sister.
A Controversial Story
Emma is 23. Her sister is 33 and has some disabilities, and is currently living in a group home.
All her life, she’s been told that if anything happens to her parents, she will be her sister’s guardian.
A Huge Responsibility
She explains that if she became her sister’s guardian, she would be in charge of any decisions regarding her welfare such as where she lived and how her carers took care of her.
Emma said “god forbid the day comes, I may be the one to make her end-of-life decision.”
Looking Out for Their Daughter
The government pays for a good portion of her sister’s care costs but not all.
Her parents have ensured that they have accessed every resource available for her to ensure that she has the best quality of life possible.
Any parent would do this for their child.
Her Sister’s Guardian
This weekend Emma was visiting her sister with her parents when they raised the issue of guardianship again.
Their parents are reasonably healthy, but they’ve had health scares in the last couple of years. They once again said that Emma would be her sister’s guardian.
Reconsidering the Options
Now Emma’s been giving the situation a fair bit of thought.
She has two older brothers, both married and both established in their careers.
She thinks they’d make much better choices for guardianship than herself.
She’s Not Ready To Settle Down
Emma wants to see the world. She’s lucky – her job allows her to work from home, and she can work anywhere she can access the internet.
Bringing It Up at Dinner
Later, when the family went for dinner, she brought up the guardianship.
She told her parents that she had three ideas regarding it.
Presenting the Options
- They make all three siblings their sisters’ guardians so that they could split the responsibilities and duties.
- They leave their entire estate to her sister in a trust that will oversee her care.
- They leave their entire estate to Emma, with the proviso that she becomes her sole guardian and takes full responsibility. Minus the sentimental items that will go to the rest of the family.
A Fair Deal?
Emma thought this was fair since her parents aren’t wealthy.
Their estate will mainly consist of their house and the insurance policies they took out years ago when they realized the long-term costs of caring for a disabled daughter.
Her Parents Didn’t Respond Well
However, her parents were not happy with her plan.
They accused Emma of being greedy for trying to get everything and said she’s trying to shirk her responsibility towards her sister.
The Final Straw
Emma, however, had one last suggestion that her parents really hated.
She said they were welcome to cut her completely out of their will, but that also had to include her sister’s guardianship.
She told them they could leave everything to her brothers, but that meant she would be completely free of responsibility for her care.
Fury and Hurt
Suffice it to say this suggestion did not go down well.
Emma’s dad got furious, and her mom was crying when she left.
Family Turn on Her
After that, she got calls from both her brothers. They both called to tell her she was way out of line.
Calling her Greedy
They said she was wrong for suddenly springing this on their parents and called her greedy for trying to keep them and their families from getting anything when their parents passed.
Making an Offer
Emma asked both of them if they wanted 100% responsibility for their sister in return for the entire estate, and she volunteered to sign away everything to them.
Neither one of them took her up on the offer.
Not a Piece of Cake
Emma thinks this situation is like splitting a cake. One person slices, but the other person gets the first choice.
She would prefer the slice with no money and no responsibility but would accept the slice with all the money and all the responsibility.
Have Their Cake AND Eat It
Her brothers, however, want to do the slicing AND the choosing!
And she thinks her parents want to let them.
Resenting the Responsibility
Emma loves her sister but knows that she would begin to resent her if her care limited her life.
She’s only 23 and wants to see all there is, and she thinks her parents are in the wrong for leaving the care of her sister entirely to her.
Her Brothers Are More Stable
She’s got two brothers with great careers, they should be willing to step up and help, but they’d instead take a step back and have their sister look after everything.
What Should She Do?
She was posting on Reddit to find out if she was in the wrong for the suggestion, but Reddit overwhelmingly backed her corner.
Stand Up for Yourself
They thought it was great she was calling her brothers out on their sexist ideas.
One user summed it up by saying, “your last few sentences say it all. They wouldn’t do it even if they got the estate. Don’t let them guilt you into doing more than any of them are willing to. Live your life.”
What do you think about this story? Was she being too harsh on her parents, or did she need to stick up for herself?
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roquillo Tebar. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.