Dilemma: Should She Leave Her Controlling Husband Who Doesn’t Understand Her Acute Anxiety About Leaving the House?

Today’s sad story of relationship woes comes to us from Reddit. A woman describes how after 17 years of marriage, she is beginning to feel resentment toward her husband.

Her Life Changed After the Birth of Her Child

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In the early days of their marriage, the Original Poster (OP) was a social butterfly who loved being spontaneous and meeting new people.

However, after the birth of their first child, they decided she would stay at home with the baby to save on childcare costs. 

Thrifty Wife

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They welcomed a second child soon after, and while money was tight, OP managed to make it work.

She handled the finances, clipping coupons and ensuring that bills got paid and her children had everything they needed.

Spender Husband

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But her husband was different.

He couldn’t save money; he would spend it on trucks or machinery whenever he got a bonus.

He had five trucks and would pout like a toddler whenever he couldn’t buy something he wanted. 

He Had a Temper Problem

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OP would laugh at herself when something went wrong, but her husband would scream and throw things.

They had to replace many things, but her husband would complain about having to buy another one, saying that he wouldn’t have to buy a new one if she hadn’t broken it.

Learned to Cope

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Her world became confined to her four walls and yard since she was at home with the kids 24/7 and didn’t have the gas money to visit her mother, who lived over an hour away.

She conditioned herself to be happy at home; otherwise, depression would have overtaken her. 

She Was Consumed by Her Role as Stay-at-Home Mom

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She volunteered for everything, including being a Girl Scout leader, soccer coach, and youth leader at church.

She finally got a job when her children were 8 and 9, and she found friends who weren’t just acquaintances because of their kids.

Reborn

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She felt like a person again, not just someone’s mom or wife, but her husband was always hard on her when she hadn’t done the household chores.

He Does Nothing

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OP was always busy with housework and looking after the children, while her husband didn’t do anything when he came home from work.

He wouldn’t do any housework, yard work, or take out the trash.

She enjoyed it when he had to do all the housework and look after the kids on his days off since it gave her a break from the children. 

Financial Review

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After a year and a half of this, her husband sat her down and wanted to know their finances, so she showed him.

After looking at their paychecks, he calculated the amount of overtime he would need to do to make up OP’s paycheck and estimated it would take an extra two hours a day of overtime.

He Wants Her to Quit

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So then he begged her to quit her job and go back to being a stay-at-home mom since she made less money than he did!

She didn’t want to, but her children begged her to since they didn’t like the way their dad did things. 

Trapped and Depressed

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So she quit her job, and at first, her husband was a better husband, more considerate and kind.

But this lasted for only three months.

OP became introverted, anxious, and depressed when she had to go anywhere.

Her Mental Health Suffered

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She started to cope by giving herself time to get mentally ready to go anywhere.

It helped, and she could still go anywhere but needed a heads-up to prepare herself.

Scared to Go Out

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Then COVID-19 hit and it became three to four days of planning in advance again.

She clawed her way back and could go anywhere if given a day’s notice. She still gets overwhelmed by her husband and children, so she reads to escape.

She can be present and escape if needed so she doesn’t get snippy.

No Empathy

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However, her husband doesn’t take her needs into account.

He always wants to do things spontaneously and ignores her request for time to prepare. 

She’s told him over and over.

He Didn’t Support Her

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Today it reached a crux when he tried to take her to the store without prior notice.

She told him she had plans to go to the store tomorrow, but he started bugging her, and when she refused, he got mad.

A Furious Tirade

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He shouted at her, “We can never do anything. I can’t wait to live by myself!”

 He says this a lot. He uses it as a weapon to hurt her feelings. It used to cut her deeply, but now she simply doesn’t care.

Gaslighting

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He gaslights and throws tantrums like a toddler.

Anytime they go out, he is always in a bad mood while she isn’t. Then he bugs her, makes fun of her, and pesters her about things that upset her.

A Sick Game to Him

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Then when she’s upset and in a bad mood, he tells her that she’s “ruining the fun” by being upset and to stop being sensitive!

When she tells her husband about her struggles with anxiety and how she needs a heads up, he says things like, “I’m just gonna spring going places on you,” like it’s some sort of game! He’s clearly not respecting her boundaries, and it’s leading her to hate him.

Done With Him

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She’s finished. When her youngest gets their license, she’s getting a job. And then potentially a divorce. She ends her post by saying, “Honestly, I just do not care.”

Grandparents Refuse to Use the Names She Has Carefully Chosen for Her Beautiful Twins! Instead…They Call Them AWFUL Nicknames – Wait Until You Hear Them!

Image Credit: Shutterstock /Andrii Iemelianenko

A Reddit user wrote about their recent experience dealing with their parents who refused to use their grandchildren’s names. Grandparents Refuse to Use the Names She Has Carefully Chosen for Her Beautiful Twins! Instead…They Call Them AWFUL Nicknames – Wait Until You Hear Them!

Revenge: Worker Takes Employer to Court for $38 – Wait Until You Hear How Much He Got!

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This Redditor’s story begins in 1998 when the poster had recently moved from Michigan to Virginia. He was working as an irrigation tech for a large regional landscape company at the time. Revenge: Worker Takes Employer to Court for $38 – Wait Until You Hear How Much He Got!

Stepmom Asks Stepson to Move Out to Give Biological Son “More Space” – Husband Reacts in Fury!

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A Reddit user wrote about her experience asking her stepson to move out of their home to give her biological son more living space. Stepmom Asks Stepson to Move Out to Give Biological Son “More Space” – Husband Reacts in Fury!

Son Sets the Record Straight by Telling Dad’s New Wife EXACTLY What Kind of Father She Married: Just Deserts or Pure Revenge?

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A Reddit user posted to the online community to share his story and ask for their opinions about his difficult relationship with his father. Son Sets the Record Straight by Telling Dad’s New Wife EXACTLY What Kind of Father She Married: Just Deserts or Pure Revenge?

Bride Chooses Gay “Dad” to Walk Her Down the Aisle Instead of Her Stepfather – He Reacts Furiously!

Image Credit: Shutterstock / IVASHstudio

A woman asked Reddit if she had gone too far by telling her stepfather to stay in the shadows at her wedding. Bride Chooses Gay “Dad” to Walk Her Down the Aisle Instead of Her Stepfather – He Reacts Furiously!

The post Man Dilemma: Should She Leave Her Controlling Husband Who Doesn’t Understand Her Acute Anxiety About Leaving the House? first appeared on Wealthy Living.

Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.

Source: Reddit