This woman was left disappointed with the gift her husband gave her on Mother’s Day. Should she be more direct? Was she expecting too much? Did he even care?
A Married Couple
The Original Poster (OP) is a 27-year-old who has been married to her husband, Tom, for about eight years.
Giving Gifts Gives Him Anxiety
OP says that Tom is not the best at giving gifts, and the thought of doing so makes him anxious.
So, about a year ago, he asked OP if it would be alright if they could choose a present for OP together for Mother’s Day, Christmas, and her birthday.
She Enjoyed His Gifts Regardless
OP said to him that even if he occasionally missed the mark, his presents were still incredibly nice and that she enjoyed them.
Just Tell Me What You Want
Recently, Tom asked OP what she wanted after OP mentioned Mother’s Day was approaching.
Later that day, OP sent her husband two links to some custom recipe books that she thought would be nice.
She Was Busy
As she was caring for their daughter, she didn’t have much time to look at the samples she sent.
However, she later texted him that they were just quick examples and that she had many other recipe books that she liked.
He Asked Her for Every Detail
When he asked how she wanted it inscribed, OP replied that they could look at it and discuss it when he got home.
She Didn’t Actually Want Them
When Tom arrived home, they had a small conversation about it. OP pointed out that the two recipe books she sent him were simple ones, not the ones she would choose.
Plenty of Ideas Saved
OP mentioned that she had some saved what she truly liked if Tom wanted to see. He replied that he’d check it after their daughter went to bed.
But he didn’t check it.
She Left It in His Hands
As a result, OP felt bad, and she mentioned that she doesn’t want to keep reminding him since it feels like she’s pleading with him to remember her, and it devalues the gift.
So OP kept quiet.
She Discovered What He’d Ordered!
This morning, OP saw that he had ordered the first sample recipe book she sent him when she was reviewing their spending.
He Hadn’t Listened
The order was placed after they had a face-to-face discussion, during which she stated that she didn’t like the ones she sent.
She Was Hurt
OP was hurt, and she asked the Reddit community whether she would be wrong for confronting her husband.
He’s a Lovely Man, but…
OP says that Tom is a lovely man, but he’s not the best listener, and one of OP’s common problems is feeling ignored.
So she’s not sure if that’s why seeing the order hurt her feelings or if she’s simply being overly sensitive.
He Couldn’t Be Bothered
Redditors were split in their opinions.
One Redditor said that OP was not wrong and her husband didn’t listen to her at all, bought her something she didn’t want, and didn’t even bother to look at what she wanted.
It’s Your Fault!
But another Reddit user wrote, “You are a very confusing person to me. I don’t understand why you’d send links to things you don’t want. Then later say you don’t want them. And now be upset you’re getting what you don’t want. Be direct. Be straightforward. I am a woman, but I feel like your husband in regards to gifting.”
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The post Dismayed on Mother’s Day- Her Husband’s Love Language Wasn’t Gift Giving… Or Listening!!! first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.