Ex-Wife Accuses Him of Favoring Their Daughter Over Their Son: Is He Being Unfair?

This father turned to Reddit after his ex-wife accused him of favoring his daughter over his son, what do you think?

Divorced

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OP and his ex-wife have been divorced for seven years.

They have 17-year-old twins, a son (J), and a daughter (H).

High School Sweethearts

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The couple were high school sweethearts and fit the typical stereotype, one being a cheerleader and OP being more of a geek.

J takes after the wife, while H takes after OP.

Spend or Save

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When OP’s children were younger, they gave them the choice of receiving an allowance and either spending it as they wished or learning about investments and savings.

At the time, N was supportive of this idea.

They explained that each child had a designated amount of money set aside for future schooling and a car fund.

Risky Investments

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Initially, both children decided to invest their money, and OP began teaching them about the risks involved.

However, despite OP’s advice, J invested in a very risky venture and ended up losing the money, causing him to abandon further investments within a few weeks.

Making Money

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On the other hand, H struggled at first but quickly grasped the concept of investing and began experimenting with different companies and investments, leading to consistent positive results.

Both Are Different Through and Through

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As a result of the different investment approaches taken by OP’s children, H has managed to accumulate a larger sum of money compared to J.

Additionally, H appears to prefer spending most of her time at OP’s house, while J spends more time at N’s residence.

A Sensible Kid

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OP notes that H has a minimalist approach to most things and does not typically spend large sums of money unless she finds something she likes.

She is not particularly interested in fashion and wears minimal makeup, if any.

When purchasing a car, she opted for a used but still well-maintained vehicle.

Going to College

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OP shares that both of their children have recently received college acceptance letters, and due to H’s excellent grades and significant savings, as well as contributions from OP, she will have the freedom to choose from any of her desired colleges.

The Wild One

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In contrast to his sister, J tends to spend his money quickly upon receiving it.

He frequently purchases new clothing items, including multiple pairs of shoes, and bought an expensive car with monthly payments.

He also frequently goes out and spends money on various activities.

Actions Have Consequences

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OP shares that J is disappointed because he cannot attend the college he desires due to financial reasons; he would need to take out a loan, but with OP’s income, he does not qualify for a significant amount of financial aid.

Accusations

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His ex-wife has accused him of favoring H and causing financial harm to J by not paying for his college education.

The extended family has also joined in on the criticism, saying OP is wrong for not providing financial assistance “when [they] easily could.”

Life Choices

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In response, OP explained that J had a choice when he was younger, but did not listen to their advice on saving money.

OP also emphasized that J could have earned money to cover college expenses by getting a job, as life is about making choices.

Is He Being Stingy?

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The discussion on Reddit revolves around OP who wants J to pay for his college education because he spent all his savings on video games in his early teens, while H saved her allowance and spent her money wisely.

Some Reddit users believe that J should not be punished for his past mistakes and that OP should pay for his education, considering he has the means to do so.

On the other hand, some users think that it is unfair to make H pay for her education, while J gets it for free. They suggest that OP could compromise by allowing his son to attend a more affordable college, which is still a viable option.

One Reddit user who believes OP should pay for J’s education thinks that OP is using J’s past mistakes to make an ideological point instead of helping him.

They suggest that OP could help J succeed in life by helping him with college, and in turn, make it up to H by helping her pursue her master’s degree. Another user suggests that OP could fund J’s education and put aside the same amount for H if she does not need it for her education.

What do you think? Should he teach his son a lesson? Is he being mean? Leave a comment!

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Source: Reddit