This tale of family drama went viral recently on Reddit. It stems from a predicament that many families deal with; the inheritance of heirlooms. Let’s dive in.
A Family Feud
Our storyteller wants to know if she was in the wrong after telling her cousin she’d ruined a family heirloom.
She’s 26 and is in the middle of a family feud over a ring.
A Beautiful Heirloom
In this case, it is a beautiful white gold and diamond ring that was given to her grandmother by her grandpa, who has since remarried and promised to pass it on to one of her granddaughters.
The original poster (OP) has two cousins: a 33-year-old named Jenny, who is married, and a 28-year-old named Andrea, who just got married.
OP is single and has always admired her grandma’s diamond ring.
Not the Next in Line
She always knew that as the youngest cousin, she needed to temper her expectations, so she wasn’t surprised when her grandma gave it to Andrea’s now-husband to propose to her last summer.
OP and her older cousin were happy for Andrea and glad the ring stayed in the family.
A Twist in the Story
Fast forward to Andrea’s wedding, and things take a turn for the worst.
Andrea invited OP and Jenny to her hotel room, where she was getting ready, and showed them the ring she would be wearing.
A Different Ring
It was not the ring they were expecting, but rather a “gargantuan, tacky engagement ring and wedding band set” that looked nothing like their grandma’s diamond ring.
OP asked her cousin about it, to which she responded that it is indeed grandma’s ring.
However, for her wedding gift, she asked her husband to “upgrade” the ring into this monstrosity since he didn’t have to pay for an engagement ring in the first place!
Only one of the diamonds was from Grandma’s ring, and the rest was all new material!
OP was devastated and broke down in tears.
She told her cousin that she had destroyed their grandparents’ heirloom and that the ring was important to their family.
On the other hand, Andrea got huffy and said that she had to finish getting ready, so OP and Jenny left.
Jenny was also upset but had the attitude of “It’s her ring, nothing we can do now.”
So OP approached her grandmother to tell her about Andrea’s actions.
Grandma Wasn’t Happy
Andrea’s mom had told Grandma that she had to have the ring resized and the setting fixed, but Grandma had no idea they’d made it into an entirely new ring!
Although Grandma didn’t say anything, OP could tell that she was upset.
The wedding continued, but everyone could feel the awkwardness between OP and her cousins and her grandmother refused to discuss the matter.
Having Trouble Letting Go
OP is finding it hard to get over what Andrea did, and she’s wondering if she is in the wrong for feeling the way she does.
With regards to the gifting of the ring, OP explains that there weren’t any specific conditions tied to it.
However, she notes that Grandma offered the ring to her cousin’s now-husband but didn’t pressure him to take it.
She told him that he didn’t have to take it if he didn’t think Andrea would want it, implying that she was offering the ring as it was.
Furthermore, Jenny later revealed that Grandma had also offered her the ring after she and her wife eloped, but Jenny turned it down because they didn’t do engagement rings.
At the time, she thought either Andrea or OP would want it as an engagement ring.
So while Grandma didn’t say, “You have to keep it this way,” OP knows that she never imagined that any of them would essentially use it for parts!
It’s More Than Just Its Parts
OP feels like Andrea saw the ring not as an heirloom but as a way to subsidize what she really wanted.
She thinks she misled their grandma and the rest of the family by not telling anyone what she was doing with the ring.
But now Andrea is saying that OP owes her an apology for telling her she ruined a family heirloom!
OP doesn’t think that she is in the wrong for saying what she said; after all – it’s the truth.
Taking Advantage of Generosity
It is natural for family members to feel attached to these items and feel responsible for preserving them.
In this case, OP’s feelings are justified, as Grandma promised the ring to her and her cousins, and she feels that Andrea has taken advantage of the situation.
What Readers Said
She wanted Reddit’s advice on who was wrong, and Reddit overwhelmingly took her side. They thought her cousin was ungrateful and had no right to destroy the ring for parts.
One user said, “not in the wrong for feeling the way you do, it’s just common decency not to redesign something like that. If it wasn’t good enough as it is, she should have been honest and told your grandma that she has something else in mind and it’s more other cousins style. Just any excuse would have been so much better really. Your poor grandma.”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Krakenimages.com. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.