A concerned Reddit user shared a story about admitting he regrets having children during marriage counseling and asked if he was in the wrong for what he said.
Marriage Counseling for Their Marital Problems
Greg started by stating he and his wife were in marriage counseling after they started having marital problems after the birth of their children, a 6-year-old and 4-year-old twins.
According to Greg, he and his wife have faced many issues and had countless disagreements in their marriage, which have driven them apart.
Working Through It
Greg explained he had been working through his resentments and he and his wife were trying to have one more child – this resulted in the birth of twins.
The “Nightmare Child”
According to him, one of the twins has ADHD and ODD, making the kid a “nightmare child.”
Although Greg loves his kids and would die for them if need be, if he had a chance to go back to when he was 24 and had just finished grad school, he wouldn’t choose fatherhood.
Finding Fatherhood Disappointing
Greg says that fatherhood is not the fulfilling experience everyone claims, and although he loves his kids, the sacrifice is not worthwhile for him.
Life Before Kids
Greg explained that before fatherhood, he loved life and had a happier life.
How Life Has Changed
However, he has since gone from someone who loved life to someone who just makes it through the day, working a job he hates to provide for his wife and kids while silently wishing he had a different life.
A Huge Misunderstanding
Meanwhile, Greg explained that his wife had taken his feelings the wrong way and even went as far as to tell their oldest child that he wished the kid had never been never born.
Not in Front of the Kids
However, Greg noted he only said that in marriage counseling and wouldn’t say that in front of his kids.
He Never Wanted to Hurt the Children
Although he wished he never had kids, he still loved them and wouldn’t do anything to hurt or upset them.
Custody of the Kids
Greg admitted that his feelings have caused a big fight in his marriage and that his wife might use his words against him during court proceedings to get sole custody of their children.
Greg still loves and wants to be a father to his children, he declared his wife does not understand how he can love his kids but feel parenthood wasn’t the best choice.
Is He a Bad Father and Husband?
He then asked for people’s thoughts about his actions and if his feelings made him a bad husband and father.
A Big Taboo
Many of them felt his feelings were valid, including a Redditor who noted, “I love my two daughters so much, but if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t be a mom.
“It is still a big taboo to admit that having children isn’t the most amazing thing in the world, but for a lot of us, the lows far outweigh the highs.”
They continued, “I’d never ever tell my kids I feel this way, but I think this is something you should be able to be honest about with you partner in marriage counseling, and the fact she told your child this is disgusting. ”
Another Reddit user explained, “Throwing for this: I’m in the same boat. Having my son ruined my life. My husband left me when she was a baby because he hated it and I was left a single mom.”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Elnur. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.