A Reddit user wrote about his recent situation where he had to decide between taking a family vacation or a honeymoon – without discussing it with his fiancée first.
A Family Tradition
The Original Poster’s (OP) family has a yearly vacation tradition with family friends.
The tradition started when OP was around 11 years old and has continued over the years, with each family alternating who plans and pays for the vacation. This year, it is the turn of their family friends to organize the vacation.
OP, who is getting married in a few weeks, and their fiancée (H) were planning to go on their honeymoon towards the end of the year but haven’t yet made specific plans.
While OP has the flexibility to take time off work since they work for their dad, H only has a limited amount of paid time off (PTO), so they need to be strategic with their planning.
Planning the Honeymoon
As a result, OP informed everyone that they might have to skip the yearly vacation this year due to H’s work situation and their honeymoon plans.
Gone Behind His Back
OP’s “bonus dad” (the family friend’s father) approached them last week and informed them that he had booked a room for their upcoming vacation.
Insistence On the Family Getting Together
H was also invited to come if she changed her mind, but their “bonus dad” insisted on the family being together for the trip.
A Great Vacation
According to OP, there’s nothing quite like their vacations with their family and friends.
The destinations are always great, and the company is even better.
Time to See His Sister
OP’s sister lives out of state and is quite busy, so it’s an opportunity to catch up with her.
All Expenses Paid
Additionally, the family they travel with has three sons, some of OP’s closest friends.
Furthermore, an all-expenses-paid holiday is hard to beat.
Fiancée Reacts Angrily
When OP informed H about their “bonus dad” booking a room for them on the family vacation, she became very angry that OP didn’t immediately decline the offer.
Honeymoon and Family Vacation Combined
However, OP explained that they weren’t obligated to participate in all family activities and that the vacation could serve as the first part of their honeymoon.
Since they hadn’t started planning their honeymoon yet, there were no concrete plans to disrupt.
What’s the Issue?
Furthermore, OP suggested they could still have their honeymoon as a first anniversary celebration since they weren’t planning on going right after their wedding anyway.
Here We Go!
The first comment on the thread summed up how most of the audience felt about the situation.
“The correct response was “I don’t know, let me check with H first, since we haven’t set a date for the the honeymoon yet.” You need to pick H (who IS your family now) over your family. If you can’t do that, don’t marry her, for her sake.”
Many of the Reddit users were appalled by OP’s choice and lack of communication with H.
They believed that OP should have consulted with H first before giving an answer to the family friends. A quick conversation with his partner could have de-escalated this situation very quickly.
Others pointed out that this needs to be taken care of properly or that H might feel like she will never be a part of any decisions in the marriage.
Another pointed out that this vacation occurs yearly, while a honeymoon is only once a lifetime. They thought OP should have considered this before responding to the family friend’s request.
One stated, “And where does this end exactly? Will your family have a key to your place (because they helped pay for it)? Will your family dictate where you spend your holidays? Will your family decide how your kids are raised and where they go to school? No, it’s time for you to be your own man.”
What do you think? Should OP have responded to the family vacation like this? Has you partner ever made plans without consulting you! Comment if the answer is yes!
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The post Fiancé Books a Vacation With His Family Instead of a Honeymoon – Would You Still Marry Him? first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / t.max. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.