He has his own money and a dependent sister with expensive taste. Should she be paying for everything or tell this freeloader to get back to work?!
He Quit a Good Job
The Original Poster (OP) explains that her boyfriend (38M) quit his full-time job over a year ago because he didn’t enjoy it.
He currently works a two-hour cleaning job at night that pays him enough to “barely get by,” as per his words.
Family of Freeloaders
OP revealed that her boyfriend’s sister (49F) has recently returned from overseas and is presently living with him.
The sister is unemployed and shares no interest in finding a job.
Where Is He Getting the Cash?
OP’s boyfriend covers all her expenses and supports her, despite how he manages to do so is unclear.
This situation disturbs OP as she feels her boyfriend is taking advantage of her and freeloading off her.
Subtly Taking Advantage
OP provides an example of how her boyfriend subtly takes advantage of her by asking her to place his groceries in her cart while shopping and paying for them together.
Avoiding Conflict at What Cost?
OP admits to being apprehensive about having a financial disagreement with her partner as he has previously displayed oversensitivity and gets offended easily during such conversations.
He’s Not Even Kind About it!
Therefore, she agrees to his requests without any further discussion. However, as a result, she has two outstanding tabs that he owes her.
Once, when she sent him an Excel sheet of the breakdown, he mocked her and made an offensive comment by referring to her with name-calling.
What is He Hiding?
OP mentioned that her boyfriend stays over at her apartment every weekend, and even before his sister moved in with him, he would never invite OP to his apartment on weekends.
She believes this behavior began after he quit his job.
Although she is not entirely sure, she thinks that he might want to spend time at her place merely to take advantage of her cable and food so he doesn’t have to use up what he has at home.
Your Basket or Mine?
OP speaks of having spoken up after a recent trip to the grocery store. Her boyfriend bought his sister shampoo and a candle and paid for them himself.
However, he placed his groceries in OP’s basket.
As her boyfriend was leaving her apartment, OP took his food out of the freezer and asked him to reimburse her.
He responded in a whiny, joking tone, saying, “I am poor!” OP replied, “Clearly, you’re not that poor if you can afford to buy candles for your sister.”
OP’s boyfriend became angry and accused her of being nasty after she made a comment about him buying candles for his sister despite owing her money.
However, OP is fed up with the situation and feels that it is becoming absurd.
She wonders if she was in the wrong for making that comment. Nevertheless, her boyfriend still has not paid her back.
He Needs to Respect You and Your Pocket
Reddit users overwhelmingly agree that OP is not in the wrong in this situation.
They are critical of OP’s boyfriend for being a freeloader and generally unpleasant.
Gaslit and Taken Advantage Of
One user stated, “I hope you see this relationship is going nowhere.
He’s been happy to be unemployed for over a year.
He keeps a job that only pays him enough to get by. He’s relying on you to feed him and his sister. Then gaslights you to convince you to keep doing it and stop questioning it.”
Why Are You Sticking it Out!?
Some suggest that OP should end the relationship, while others suggest setting boundaries with her boyfriend and no longer paying for his groceries.
Many commenters express surprise that OP has stayed with the boyfriend for so long despite his negative behavior.
Not Who She Says She Is!?
Some speculate that the boyfriend may be married to his supposed sister or otherwise hiding something from OP.
Overall, Reddit users encourage OP to prioritize her well-being and happiness and consider ending the relationship if necessary.
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The post Freeloading Boyfriend: She Is Avoiding Conflict, but at What Cost?! first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.