Her boyfriend has an intense comb-over. Like many, he uses it to cover his early-onset hair loss. But his girlfriend is embarrassed by it and doesn’t know if she should tell him.
Balding at a Young Age
Her partner’s hair started receding at a young age, and although he (D) tries to style it in a way that makes him feel confident, it has become increasingly difficult for her to watch him suffer from the judgment of others.
She loves him dearly and wants him to do what makes him happy, but she cannot help feeling drained and embarrassed by the way people react to his hairstyle.
Effort and Expense to Maintain
It hurts her to see D constantly worry about his appearance and spend a lot of money on hair products and sprays.
She wants him to feel truly happy in himself, and she is afraid his hairstyle is preventing him from achieving that.
They have been together for over three years, and during that time, she’s never seen D’s hair not styled, and he’s never shown OP the bald area.
When he stays over, he sleeps upright and will go home in the mornings to wash and restyle his hair, and then return to her house to hang out for the day.
People Laugh at Him
She has seen people staring at him, laughing at him, and even taking photos of D without his consent.
She worries someone will take things too far and throw a drink at him or try to mess up his hair.
Painful to Watch
It is painful to watch him feel judged and insecure about himself, and it is even more painful to see their friends and family make comments behind his back.
Hiding Her True Feelings
Although OP has never told him his hairstyle looks bad, they have spoken about it, and he has expressed a desire to eventually go bald, but not yet.
He is only 26 and wants to wait until he turns 30 to make that decision.
She Wants Him to Be Happy
OP understands that it is his body and hair, and D can do whatever he wants with it, but she cannot help feeling exhausted by the situation.
She wants him to sleep without feeling the need to prop himself up, and not fear a little bit of wind or rain.
Just Wants the Best
OP wants him to wake up feeling refreshed and confident in himself, without worrying about what other people think.
She wants them to go out together without constantly feeling judged or scrutinized.
Love Is Unconditional
Most importantly, OP wants D to be happy with how he looks, and to know that she loves him regardless of his hairstyle.
Compliments Fall on Deaf Ears
She has tried to boost his confidence by telling D how handsome he is, but it seems to have no effect.
She fears he will never get rid of his comb-over, and although she would never leave him for something as shallow as his appearance, it is having a major effect on her.
Should She Tell Him?
It is difficult for OP to vocalize her feelings to D, but she knows that she needs to express herself.
She does not want to hurt him, but also cannot continue to suppress her feelings.
She wants him to know that she is here for him and that she will support him in whatever decision he makes, but she also wants him to know how much his comb-over affects her.
The Internet’s Response
She asked the Reddit community for advice on the situation.
One user responded, “This is clinical-level behavior that requires professional intervention. Good luck to them, this will be difficult.”
Another Redditor said, “The hair isn’t the problem in your relationship. Your inability to communicate what you’re feeling to him is, and it’s an important problem.”
One of the responses was, “What is the point of being with someone if you can’t talk to them? You need to rip the Bandaid off and be real with him.”
What do you think? Have you been in a similar situation before? Should she tell him or wait until he’s ready?
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / AlenD. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.