Was He Right For Telling His Son He Has To Go To University, Get a Job, or Get Out?

On Reddit, someone recently asked the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subthread whether he was wrong to walk out on his girlfriend while having dinner.

The Original Poster (OP) explained that he and his wife have three children, 17, 15, and 10.

He explained that their oldest has said they have no intention of doing anything after high school.

In response, OP said he gave the eldest an ultimatum. The eldest should go to university, get a job, or GTFO. 

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OP added that when his parent gave him the same ultimatum, he “…chose to travel the world for two years.

I had a lot of sailing experience, and my father had a lot of friends in that community, so I was able to sail around the world, earning money and working my ass off. It wasn’t a two-year vacation.”

He explained that his family is well off and so he could have chosen an easy life but didn’t since he didn’t want to disappoint his family. When he returned from his travels, he enrolled at university and later went to work for the family business.

Wife Takes a Different Line

OP’s wife has a different approach to dealing with the situation with the eldest.

He said, “My wife thinks that I’m being unfair to our poor baby boy throwing him out into the world. I’m not. We have the money to pay for his university. We have the money for all three kids.”

He continued, “Her and my son think I’m being cruel to expect him to fend for himself at 18. I have offered him multiple opportunities to do other things. He has no interest in anything beyond his computer.”

OP said that he didn’t know what to do and that, ” I don’t think I’m wrong for expecting an adult to adult.”

He concluded,” My wife is threatening to use her salary to support him. I don’t have any say in that. I won’t actually kick him out of the house but I will stop paying his bills and cut off our grocery budget by 20%. If she wants to work so he doesn’t have to there is nothing I can do about that.”

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Redditors Give Their Judgement 

The Reddit community responded with their thoughts as to whether OP was YTA (You’re The A**hole) or NTA (Not The A**hole).

Thirdtryisthecharm response had over 23,000 upvotes. They said, “NTA assuming that a trade school, apprenticeship, or community college would also be acceptable.”

OP replied, “That’s school or a job so yes.”

FeuerroteZora contributed, “I feel like the wife’s attitude probably explains a lot…”

Jinx_lbc said OP was NTA. They recalled being a similar age and not knowing what they wanted to do. They said, “I had no idea what I wanted out of my life at this age.” 

They continued, “OP your son may not like it but make him do something. Reassure him that what he picks doesn’t have to be a forever commitment, but he has to pick at least something. NTA.

Your wife is screwing your son up.”

Overall, Redditors were supportive of OP. There was some sense that his wife’s contradictory response to the eldest was adding to the issue. What do you think? Was OP right to take the line he was taking? Should he had been more sympathetic; plenty of Redditors explained they didn’t know what to do with their life when they were the same age.

Our article has been inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Wealthy Living.

This article was produced Career Step Up and syndicated by Wealthy Living. 

Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Luis Molineroi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.