A Reddit user asked the community if they were being unreasonable for not letting their mom meet their new baby if she brought along her new boyfriend.
Expecting Her First Child
The Original Poster (OP) is expecting their first child in a little over a month.
Mother Looking Forward to Being Grandma
OP’s mom expressed interest in flying out to be with them during the birth and to be at the hospital.
Losing Her Father
OP’s dad passed away 11 months ago and then three months ago, OP’s mom revealed that she had started seeing someone.
While OP was happy for their mom, she asked for some time before including the new partner in her life.
A Moment of Hesitation
Though her mom eventually agreed, OP could tell that their hesitation meant they were likely disappointed by the request for space.
A Place for the New Boyfriend
OP’s mom expressed that she did not want to meet her grandchild without the man she plans to spend the rest of her life with.
OP expressed discomfort with the idea of him being present and stated that it was not something they were comfortable with.
Despite this, OP’s mom said that she and her partner would still come, even if they stayed in a hotel.
OP told her that her partner would not be welcome at the hospital, and OP’s mom was shocked and could not understand why they would turn her away.
OP was told by her mother that she is entitled to move on, but should consider how she will feel in five years if she is remarried and the baby knows them as grandpa but was denied the chance to meet them when they were born.
Her mother also said to imagine telling the child that grandma was kept away because she did not want to be a widow for the rest of her life.
OP’s mom spoke to OP’s grandpa and aunt, who are her father and sister, after talking to OP about the situation.
They sided with OP and suggested that OP’s mom should understand where she is coming from.
Her Mom Doesn’t Understand
The next morning, OP received a text from her mom stating that everyone was on OP’s side, and she felt that nobody was actually happy for her in her pursuit of happiness again.
Despite the support of her family members, OP feels uneasy about the situation and is aware that her mom is angry with them for not allowing her partner to be present.
Respect the Boundaries
Some Reddit users are firmly on OP’s side, stating that the mother needs to respect her boundaries and that it is not appropriate to introduce a new romance at this time.
Others are expressing concern for the mother’s feelings but ultimately agree that it is up to OP to decide who is present during such a vulnerable and important moment.
One user wrote “You’re not banning her from meeting her grandchild forever; you just don’t want a stranger there for the birth. And since you are the one who is going to be giving birth, you should get to choose who you want there. You and the baby should be first priority, not her boyfriend.”
A Selfish Mother
Users are also highlighting the fact that it is OP’s decision, and no one else’s, who is present during the birth of her child. They are expressing support for OP’s right to choose and emphasizing that her mother should understand and respect her wishes. Several users are also suggesting that the mother is being selfish in making the situation about her and her new partner, rather than focusing on OP and her child.
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