A Reddit user asked for advice on whether she was wrong for telling her estranged son-in-law that she doesn’t have to give his children the same treatment that she gives her late daughter’s children.
Losing a Daughter
Linda lost her youngest daughter a decade ago.
Her daughter left behind a husband and two children who are now at the ages of 15 and 16 years old.
Her Dying Wishes
Linda’s granddaughter was very close to her father. Linda’s daughter asked that her husband stay in the kids’ lives, even after her passing.
Fear of Replacement
She mentioned how worried she was that her husband would encourage the kids to forget her and that he was going to replace her with a new woman.
Promised to Take Care of the Children
She asked Linda and her husband to leave anything that was supposed to be given to her after their passing to instead be given to the children.
Linda assured her daughter that they would always be a part of the grandkids’ lives.
Husband Moved New Wife In
Eight months after Linda’s daughter passed away, the husband moved his new wife into their home.
The new wife was already pregnant and also had another child from a previous relationship.
Treat All the Kids the Same
The husband told Linda and her husband to treat their grandchildren all the same, including the newly added members of the family.
Otherwise, he threatened to cut off all contact with Linda’s daughter’s children.
Fair Proposal
The husband said this was only fair in that the kids could have a new mother and only see their step-siblings as true siblings.
Grandparents’ Rights
Linda was informed by their lawyer that they had a case to seek grandparents’ visitation rights.
Seeking Legal Help
They also sought legal advice on whether they could obtain access if it was denied.
The legal advice indicated that, given their close relationship with the children, it would be relatively easy to obtain access through the courts.
Securing Access to the Grandchildren
As a result of this legal action, Linda was able to secure minimal access to their grandchildren, which was sufficient for them as their grandchildren were happy to see Linda, their aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Son-In-Law Became Estranged
Now, their former son-in-law had become estranged from his own family, and his wife’s family were no longer in the picture.
The son-in-law had six children, on top of Linda’s grandchildren, living in his home without any family or support outside of himself and his wife.
Grandmother Improved Grandkids Lives
As Linda’s grandchildren became teenagers, they began to seek more time with Linda and their lives have improved as a result.
Children Deserve to Be Spoiled
Although they admit to spoiling the grandchildren more than some would like due to the circumstances, they believe that the grandchildren are wonderful children.
A Confrontation
However, the son-in-law confronted Linda recently about his other children, who had no extended family and were suffering from seeing their siblings being spoiled.
Unwanted Involvement
He also accused Linda of having already come between the grandchildren and their siblings, who were not close and had never asked to be part of the extended family.
Making Demands
The son-in-law demanded that Linda give his children love and the same spoiling as the grandchildren.
The Argument Blew Up
Linda, however, refused to comply and stated that they did not owe anything to the son-in-law’s children.
Not Forgiving
They also told him that they would never forgive him for what he had attempted to do before.
In response, the son-in-law called Linda cold-hearted and callous.
Feeling Uncertain About Her Actions
Linda now fears that he is right and that she should treat all the children the same because none of this is their fault.
Should She Treat All the Children the Same?
Many Reddit users were shocked by the son-in-law’s behavior, mostly for marrying so quickly after his wife’s passing.
They also felt like it seemed like a bad idea for all parties involved, which has caused the situation to be pretty messy.
Warning!
Another wrote that the daughter seemed to have sensed what was going on and wanted to give a warning to the grandparents. “With your daughter being so concerned that he would attempt to “replace” her in her children’s eyes, and push for them forgetting her, then I can only imagine what could’ve happened to make her feel like that.”
One user assured Linda and said “I am sure your grandkids are happy they have your support! You don’t owe your ex-son-in-law anything. He was the one that decided to have more kids.”
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The post “I Will NOT Treat My Step-Grandkids the Same as My Own!” – Grandmother’s Dilemma – Should She Treat Her Late Daughter’s Children and Her Son-In-Law’s Children Equally? first appeared on Wealthy Living.
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