Relationship Problems: Has Suffering a Stroke Changed How I Treat My Wife?

A Reddit user recently sought advice from the Reddit community to see if he was being unreasonable by getting upset with his wife over towels.

The Couple

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The Original Poster (OP) and his wife (H) are a couple in their 30s.

A Tragic Turn

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Last year, OP suffered from a stroke which was a source of stress for him, but he is now doing well.

As a side effect of the stroke, he experienced aphasia (loss of ability to understand or express speech).

However, most people didn’t notice anything was wrong. 

Breakdown In Communication

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Since the stroke, their communication has worsened. H sometimes perceives him as mean when he speaks to her, causing her to cry, but he has no idea why.

He is unsure if he misspeaks, H is overly sensitive, or if something he says is mean.

Making an Effort

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This was not frequent before the stroke, but it has become more common now.

OP makes an effort to communicate in a kind manner during their conversations.

The Towel Situation

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OP took his children to their swim class that day.

Upon arrival, he realized that he had forgotten to bring towels.

A Solution

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OP then texted H about the situation, to which she offered to return home and bring them towels.

OP expressed his gratitude to H in response.

A Problem

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After getting his kids into the pool, OP called H, who was still at work.

She informed him that her car was blocked in and she was trying to locate the person who had blocked her in.

Her coworkers had provided her with towels, and she would head to the pool when she was able to.

No Word

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However, OP did not hear from her for 15 minutes and began to feel unsure about whether she would make it.

He debated asking the front desk for towels or trying to sun-dry the kids but was ultimately stuck in a state of uncertainty.

OP found the situation stressful, although he acknowledges that some people may have handled it better.

Not Much Is Said

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Eventually, H arrived with the towels, and they had a brief conversation before she left.

Feeling upset, OP chose to remain quiet during their interaction, as he tends to be cautious when speaking to H while feeling emotional.

Acting Normal

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Upon her arrival home, H kindly offered to take care of finishing dinner and putting the kids to bed, knowing that OP had been with the children all afternoon.

OP agreed to the offer since he still had some work to complete.

He asked H if it was alright to have a conversation, to which she consented.

Trust Issues

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During the conversation, OP expressed his distrust towards H when asking her to do something, as she does not always provide updates if unforeseen circumstances arise.

Sharing His Feelings

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He made sure to emphasize that he was not criticizing her but rather just sharing his emotions.

Although H appeared upset, OP asked if she understood what he had said, to which she repeated his statement to him, indicating her comprehension.

Difference in Opinion

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OP inquired if he had said something mean to H. She replied that she did not blame him but that it hurt her feelings that he had complained to her without showing appreciation or acknowledging her effort to bring the towels to the pool.

OP argued that he had indeed thanked her, as he had texted her “thank you” immediately after she had offered to bring the towels.

Sarcasm

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H then made a sarcastic remark about offering to take care of the kids, which left OP confused about the connection between his gratitude and the issue of trust.

Strings Attached

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While he appreciated her willingness to help him with his chores, he felt that her offer came with strings attached, which meant that he could only feel gratitude and nothing else.

A Frustrated Reaction

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Feeling frustrated, OP told H not to bother with such favors anymore, and he also made a comment using somewhat harsh words, saying “Don’t do me any favors.”

The Internet Responds

OP contemplated the possibility that his wife might be the one at fault, considering her self-absorbed behavior and inability to support him emotionally when he experiences negative feelings.

However, he also acknowledged that he might be the one in the wrong since H appeared to be upset with him despite her attempts to give him the benefit of the doubt. Seeking clarification, OP turned to Reddit, hoping that the community could shed some light on the situation and help him understand what might be going on.

Reddit users are criticizing OP for being ungrateful towards H who left work to bring him towels that he forgot. They are pointing out that H had to juggle her work and parenting duties to fulfill his request, but he failed to appreciate her efforts.

They also suggest that OP should work on his behavior and manage his emotions responsibly without putting the burden on H. Some of them advise him to seek therapy to develop empathy and manage his negative emotions.

What do you think? How would you have reacted to OP’s emotions?

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The post Relationship Problems: Has Suffering a Stroke Changed How I Treat My Wife? first appeared on Wealthy Living.

Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / tommaso79. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.

Source: Reddit