Her daughter was taken away at birth and adopted, and after 12 years of being sober, she has no attachment to her mother and no longer wants to see her.
His Sister Has Had a Tough Life
The Original Poster’s (OP) sister, who is 32 years old, has had a tumultuous journey in life.
She has struggled with addiction for many years and has started on the path to recovery.
During her addiction, she became pregnant and was unable to overcome her drug use.
As a result, she failed a drug test while pregnant, and her newborn daughter was taken away from her at birth and placed with a foster family.
She Lost Her Daughter
OP’s sister was devastated by the loss of her daughter and felt she had lost everything. But she did not give up on herself and decided to take responsibility for her actions.
She went to rehab, got a job, and has been sober for 12 years. Although, despite her efforts to turn her life around, her daughter has little to no attachment to her.
Her Daughter Doesn’t Know Her
While OP’s sister can have supervised visitation with her daughter for a few hours every weekend, her daughter has no real connection to her and sees her adopted family as her own.
Finally, at the age of 12, her daughter decided she doesn’t want to see her birth mother anymore. She doesn’t want to be burdened with spending 90 minutes every Saturday with someone she now sees as a stranger.
This news absolutely devastated OP’s sister. She had worked tirelessly to stay clean and repent for her mistakes from the past but to no avail.
He Told Her It Was Her On Fault
OP tried to comfort her and reminded her that the reason for her daughter’s lack of attachment to her was because of her drug use during pregnancy.
He also added that things would have been different if she had stayed clean. His sister accused him of being unsympathetic and unkind.
She felt he did not understand what it was like to give birth to a child and never meet her. She also accused him of belittling her efforts to get her life back on track.
Their mother found out about the argument and tried to mediate between the two siblings. While she agreed with the OP’s view, she felt it was not the right time to bring it up.
She believed her daughter needed comfort and support, not judgment and blame.
What Redditors Said
One user said, “She’s been sober for TWELVE YEARS, and your “I told you so” commentary is cruel. It is entirely her fault, and she’s of all people, knows that.”
Another wrote, “I’m sorry, am I the only 1 who can do math here?” Your sister had the child when she was 20, probably got pregnant when she was 19, and was a heroin addict for a couple years before that? She was a child and got into a life destroying drug. Where were your parents?”
What do you think? Was he wrong for telling his sister these are the consequences of her actions? Should she see her daughter despite her daughter’s wishes?
The post He Told His Sister It Was Her Fault Her Daughter Didn’t Want to See Her, but She’s Been Clean 12 Years and Thinks He’s Being Cruel first appeared on Wealthy Living
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Viktor Gladkov. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit