A Reddit user voiced his issues on a subthread regarding his recent decision not to invite his daughter to his upcoming wedding.
A Wedding Without His Daughter
The Original Poster (OP), a 37-year-old man, has decided not to invite his 16-year-old daughter, Bella, to his upcoming wedding this fall. He has made this decision based on certain circumstances, which he plans to explain in this post.
Despite suggestions from others to have a conversation or seek therapy, OP has exhausted these options and deemed them no longer viable.
OP and his ex-wife, Theresa (38F), have a strained relationship. They began dating at 16 and had their daughter, Bella, when they were 21. Initially, their relationship was great, but things changed when Theresa began spending time with a group of women that OP deemed as not very good people. He chose not to hang out with them.
His Ex-Wife’s Drinking Habits
Theresa’s drinking habits also became an issue as she would frequently go out at night, leaving OP to take care of their daughter. Additionally, OP was not satisfied with how Theresa was keeping up their home since he worked full-time while she did not.
OP’s breaking point in his relationship with his ex-wife, Theresa, occurred during a night out when he was forced to go bar hopping with her. Theresa became extremely intoxicated and proceeded to call him a loser in front of others.
Divorce Was the Only Option
This was not the first time she had publicly disrespected him; she had a habit of belittling him in front of her friends to show off. The following weekend, OP filed for divorce as a result of this incident.
Initially, the custody agreement for Bella between OP and his ex-wife was 50/50. However, OP asked for a DNA test to be done on Bella as he had heard rumors and wanted to confirm.
His ex-wife became angry and refused to allow the test to be conducted, which confirmed OP’s suspicions. As a result, she obtained nearly full custody of Bella because OP refused to pay child support without confirmation of paternity.
This arrangement has persisted for five years, with OP seeing Bella only a few times each month.
OP finds it challenging to maintain a relationship with his daughter, Bella, given that he does not have custody. He is currently engaged to one of his best friends, Chrissy (33F), whom he has known since their college years.
His Daughter Doesn’t Like His Fiancé
However, Bella dislikes Chrissy without any apparent reason. Despite Chrissy not being involved in OP’s life while he was married to Bella’s mother, Bella thinks poorly of her.
Recently, OP stumbled upon Bella’s social media post, in which she criticized him and called Chrissy unfaithful. These accusations are untrue as OP had supported Bella and her mother financially for seven years, and continues to give them money whenever he sees them.
He Decided Not to Invite Her to His Wedding
As OP planned the invitations for his upcoming wedding, he made the decision not to invite his daughter, Bella.
Given her negative attitude towards him and his fiancée Chrissy, and her habit of spreading lies about them on social media for attention, OP did not want to risk any drama on his special day.
When Bella’s mother found out about the wedding, she inquired about Bella’s role in the event, to which OP responded that she was not invited. He later called Bella to explain his reasoning and cited her social media posts as one of the factors.
Although Bella attempted to apologize and promised to behave at the wedding, OP reminded her that she had expressed dislike towards him and Chrissy, and thus, he saw no reason to extend an invitation. Bella called OP a jerk, and they have not spoken since.
What Redditors Said
Reddit users are almost unanimously in agreement that OP is the jerk in this situation. Several users have pointed out that OP’s lack of effort in seeking a court-ordered DNA test and his refusal to pay child support without it shows that he only considers Bella his daughter if she is genetically related to him.
Additionally, users have highlighted how his abandonment of Bella has resulted in her resentment and anger toward him and his fiancée. Some users have even gone as far as to say that OP’s behavior indicates that he is a deadbeat dad.
Overall, many users feel that OP’s actions have destroyed his relationship with his daughter and that he cannot expect to salvage it in the future. The majority of users have concluded that OP is the problem in this situation.
What do you think? Should OP invite their daughter to the wedding?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / nakaridore. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.