Introducing the family to a new partner is a stressful time for most people in relationships. In this Reddit post, one guy decided not to introduce his new girlfriend to his oldest brother because let’s just say, he has history.
The Original Poster (OP) is currently planning to move in with his girlfriend as they are starting to take a serious step in their relationship.
They are planning to meet OP’s family as she has only seen them in a video call.
OP has two older brothers and he doesn’t want his girlfriend to ever meet Dan, his eldest brother.
Brother Has a Habit of Being Hurtful
Dan is a 30-year-old who enjoys saying things that are hurtful or likely to stir up controversy. He’s been this way his entire life and never outgrew it. He enjoys agitating people, and OP is not sure why he does it.
Dan has lost his job and many of his friends as a result of his behavior. Plus, Dan mocks people’s sexual orientation, race, or religion. Whether or not he truly believes them, he expresses them in real life and online.
OP only speaks with Dan when he’s visiting his father, who lives with him, and even then, OP always keeps the conversation light.
Keep His Girlfriend Away
OP’s girlfriend is Jewish culturally and her name reflects that, but her family is not religious. As a result, OP is planning to not let Dan near her at all.
OP told his girlfriend about the situation and she agreed not to meet Dan.
She doesn’t want to cope with Dan agitating her because she and her family had experienced discrimination in the past. So OP wanted to introduce his girlfriend to his family when Dan was not around.
However, the problem began when he told his father about it.
Father Disagrees With the Plan
OP’s father disagreed with him, claiming what OP is doing is wrong. Plus his other brother Ray disagreed as well. Ray told that OP was overreacting.
And when Dan heard about this he became furious.
OP’s dad and Ray, who are on Dan’s side, said that OP can introduce his girlfriend to the entire family and tell Dan to leave or OP can leave with his girlfriend if Dan says anything wrong.
But OP disagreed and said that his girlfriend doesn’t deserve that.
OP’s father thinks he’s being childish and overreacting. But OP doesn’t think so and he took to Reddit to ask for opinions.
Hundreds of comments poured in supporting OP and said that his family are in the wrong.
One Reddit user wrote, “Dan & your other family members are to blame! They are enabling his bad attitude and that’s what has made him unbearable. Stick to your guns. She doesn’t want to meet him either.”
Avoidance Is the Best Solution
Another Redditor commented, “How can your dad say you’re being petty & immature, but DAN’S actions are OK? Stay away from them all. You wouldn’t tolerate his behavior if she were a friend/acquaintance, why is the bar lower for family?”
A third Reddit user said, “Your dad and Ray are deluded. Why would you want to subject your girlfriend or any other person you value in your life, to Dan’s hostility? He brings nothing of value to an interaction. It’s no positives and all negatives, so avoiding him is the best decision.”
So what do you think? What would you do if you were in this situation?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.