A Reddit user asked the community if they were in the wrong for not wanting their girlfriend’s mother to move in with them in their brand-new house.
His First Home
OP (23M) and his girlfriend (22F) have been in a relationship for nearly 6 years. They recently relocated to a house that OP purchased about a month and a half ago.
This is OP’s first time being a homeowner and living independently away from his parents. His girlfriend on the other hand had been living in an apartment for a couple of years before moving in with him.
OP and his girlfriend are financially stable, with a combined income of approximately $80k, allowing them to live comfortably. Thanks to his income, OP was able to purchase a large house, almost the size of his parent’s home, for the two of them.
He Pays for the House
As the homeowner, OP covers the mortgage and utilities on his own. His girlfriend has been kind enough to pay for household expenses such as groceries, subscriptions, and has contributed to the cost of some of the furniture when they moved in.
OP recently faced an issue involving his girlfriend’s mother. She is not financially stable and has been living with her mother and her mother’s husband in a trailer. However, her mother recently passed away from cancer, and her husband has decided to evict her from the property.
She can stay with his girlfriend’s sister and her boyfriend, but they live with the boyfriend’s parents. Considering this, she has been insisting on moving in with OP and his girlfriend.
His Girlfriend’s Mother Insists on Moving In
OP is strongly opposed to the idea of his girlfriend’s mother moving in with him. As the owner of the house, he takes great pleasure in living independently and does not want any outsiders living with him.
OP believes that his girlfriend’s mother’s financial troubles are not his responsibility, and he should not have to suffer the consequences of her poor decisions.
OP is frustrated that she does not seem to be making an effort to improve her situation by seeking alternative living arrangements or employment, which leads him to suspect that she plans to move in with him and remain there indefinitely.
His Girlfriend is Reluctant
OP has noticed that his girlfriend is also reluctant to let her mother move in with them but seems to be avoiding discussing the matter directly with him. OP knows that his girlfriend tends to be a pushover when it comes to her mother and may feel uncomfortable about the situation.
While he loves his girlfriend, he recognizes that she may struggle to meet her mother’s demands. OP recalls that when they first started dating, his girlfriend had him running errands for her mother, such as going to Walmart to purchase food and cigarettes, because her mother was too lazy to do it herself.
He Has the Bigger House
OP’s girlfriend’s sister has been critical of him for not allowing their mother to move in with them. She believes that since OP and his girlfriend have a larger home, they should be willing to take her in.
OP bluntly told her that her mother’s situation was not his responsibility, which caused her to become upset and accuse him of trying to make their mother homeless.
Despite feeling guilty, OP stands firm in his decision and does not want to enable his girlfriend’s mother’s behavior by allowing her to stay with them and drink all day. OP is unsure if he is the jerk in this situation.
What Redditors Said
Reddit users mostly agree that OP is not the jerk in this situation. They highlight that it is his house and decision and that he should not feel guilty about setting boundaries.
They advised him to be careful about the legal implications of having his girlfriend’s mother living in his house for the long term and consider his rights if she refuses to leave.
Some users suggest that the girlfriend and her family should take responsibility for the mother’s situation and not expect OP to provide for her. They emphasized that saying no is a complete sentence and that OP should hold his ground.
Users also note that enabling the mother’s behavior will only encourage her to continue being dependent on others. Some users draw on their personal experiences to warn OP that it will be hard to get her out once she moves in.
An Alternate Solution
Others suggest alternative solutions, such as subsidizing an apartment for the mother or contributing towards her rent. Overall, users advise OP to be firm and not let his girlfriend’s family pressure him into doing something he is uncomfortable with.
What do you think? What would you do as OP?
The post He’s Just Moved Into His First Home, and He Told His Girlfriend Her Mom Is Not Part of the Plan! first appeared on Wealthy Living
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Source: Reddit