A man recently took to Reddit to ask the community’s opinion on an argument he’d recently had. He’s wondering if he was a jerk for calling out his brother on his last-minute destination wedding plans.
He’s An Honest Guy
Our storyteller is a man with a knack for honesty, even when it’s not appreciated. He’s a well-meaning guy but seems to have put his foot in his mouth.
Yesterday, his brother announced that he had gotten engaged the night before. He was happy for his brother until he heard the details!
Things quickly went downhill when he found out that they were planning a destination wedding. He thought that his brother’s plan was selfish and inconsiderate, and he wasn’t afraid to tell him so.
According to the original poster (OP), the engagement was spur-of-the-moment, and the couple had booked an 8-day river cruise from Switzerland to the Netherlands, where they planned to tie the knot.
A Destination Wedding
The cruise starts tomorrow, and the wedding will take place somewhere along the way. OP is upset because his brother and his fiancée didn’t give anyone any notice about the wedding or the cruise – in fact, to find out any details, he had to do some internet sleuthing to find out where they were going and what they were doing.
To make matters worse, the cruise has already sold out, and OP’s brother and his fiancée haven’t provided any information about their flights or the hotels they are staying in.
OP thinks that it’s inconsiderate to expect people to drop everything and join them on an 8-day trip on less than a day’s notice. He has a point.
Not everyone can afford to go on an 8-day river cruise, and many people have jobs, kids, and other commitments that make it impossible to drop everything and travel at a moment’s notice.
To make matters worse, the cruise company that they are using doesn’t allow passengers under 18 for any reason.
This means that OP and his wife can’t bring their three kids along with them, and they are not the only ones. Many of their family and friends also have kids, and it’s inconsiderate to expect parents to leave their children for over a week.
Nobody Can Attend
The result of all this is that no one is going to the wedding. Not a single person from the bride’s side, the groom’s side, or any of their friends will be attending. The couple will be going alone.
OP expressed his feelings to his brother, and this led to a huge argument. He accused his brother of being selfish and inconsiderate for having a last-minute destination wedding, and his brother was livid.
He thinks that destination weddings are usually selfish, but planning one with less than a day’s notice is even worse.
But there’s a twist in this story that OP didn’t see coming – and it took thousands of Redditors to open this guy’s eyes.
When OP revealed the only reason his brother told him about the wedding was to avoid any confusion when they were gone for ten days, Reddit users did the mental gymnastics for our storyteller. They revealed to him that his brother and his fiancée weren’t actually inviting anyone to their wedding.
Back-Up: They Were Actually Eloping
They were eloping! The only reason his brother told him about the wedding was that OP and his wife were living in the basement apartment of his brother’s house until their new house closed. His brother didn’t want them to worry about where they had gone for ten days and was definitely NOT inviting them to a wedding!
The truth stunned OP. He had misunderstood the situation and had caused a huge argument for no reason. He’d spent hours researching and trying to track down where his brother was getting married, but that was exactly what his brother was trying to avoid.
He felt like a fool and realized that he should have asked more questions before jumping to conclusions.
He learned a valuable lesson about jumping to conclusions and making assumptions. He learned that he should always ask questions and try to understand the situation before reacting. It’s a lesson to all of us that we should try to get all the facts before we make judgments.
He also realized that it’s important to communicate effectively and not assume that people are being selfish or inconsiderate without understanding their perspective.
But to answer his original question, was he a jerk for calling his brother selfish? Yes, and it’s no wonder his brother blew up at him – but he clearly didn’t understand what was going on, so hopefully, his brother will forgive him.
What do you think about this story? This guy needs to learn to read the room before starting arguments!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story