A Redditor had doubts about whether he did the right thing by telling his mother’s girlfriend about her religious beliefs. Was he justified?
Questioning Her Religion
The Original Poster (OP) shares that his girlfriend was raised in a religious environment but she began to have doubts about two years ago.
She doesn’t dislike her religion; she just didn’t feel it was a good fit for her.
The couple has been dating for a year and a half since they first met. She was an atheist when they first met, and she had doubts for around five months before making up her mind to become an atheist.
She kept it a secret from her parents as she didn’t want them to know.
A Surprise Encounter
So things took a turn at the beginning of this week when OP and his girlfriend were out and saw her mum.
She came up to them and asked who OP was since they hadn’t met before.
OP’s girlfriend was stuttering and then OP took matters into his own hands and told her mother that he was her boyfriend and that she was an atheist and no longer part of their religion.
Both OP’s girlfriend and her mother were shocked.
Taken by Surprise
His girlfriend asked why OP said that. He told her that it’s been a while since she decided she wasn’t following her religion and that they have been together for so long and since she wasn’t worried about her parents, she didn’t have to wait anymore.
Her mother was astonished and stated it will take some time for her to process it, but that it was okay and that she was just glad her daughter was happy. OP’s girlfriend and her mum went away and started talking. So OP believed that everything worked out well.
However, later his girlfriend messaged to let him know that he had crossed over the line and that it was inappropriate.
She told him that she would have told her parents in private when she was prepared. She claimed that OP was in the wrong and that he was unreliable.
Later, her siblings and friends messaged OP to say that he was a jerk who couldn’t control his mouth.
OP took to Reddit to ask whether he was in the wrong for what happened and more than five hundred comments poured in saying that OP was wrong.
Steamrolled Her Boundries
One Reddit user wrote, “Hopefully you are about to be the ex because you were so far out of line. You completely steamrolled your GF’s boundaries and made a decision you had no business making. You are incredibly fortunate it’s turning out all right because it could have gone very badly with her family disowning her or worse.”
Another Redditor pointed out that OP has no idea how her mom might have continued to react once they got home.
A third Reddit user commented, “How come you thought it’s your business to tell your girlfriend’s personal life choices to anyone? Why did you immediately take that dominant role, meeting the mother for the first time and telling her you’re the boyfriend and your gf isn’t anymore in the religion she used to be? Sounds very toxic masculinity to me, horrible disrespect towards your gf.”
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