Good financial management can make or break a marriage. But what if you have to get them sorted before the wedding? This groom-to-be recently posted on Reddit asking for opinions about a disagreement he and his fiancée had over how to eliminate his debt.
He Has Massive Debt
The Original Poster (OP) is a 31-year-old man who has racked up $67,000 in debt over the course of his adult life. That black hole includes college loans, a car loan, and a small amount on his credit card.
Even though he has been making small monthly payments without fail, OP acknowledges it would take decades to get out of debt at his current pace.
Recently, OP got engaged to his 29-year-old girlfriend, and they plan to move in together. They set a wedding date three years in the future to accommodate out-of-country relatives who need to plan and save money for travel.
She’s Wiped Out Her Debt
OP’s fiancée also struggled with her own financial challenges, but she’s worked hard since college and has erased most of her debt.
In that time, OP’s fiancée wiped out all her student loan debt, bought and paid for a new car, and managed to save nearly $300,000. She accomplished all of that through careful money management and busting her hump with several side hustles.
His fiancée’s only debt at this point is her mortgage. So she has a home for them to move into.
She Doesn’t Want to Take on His Debt
After putting in all that work, it’s no surprise that OP’s fiancée doesn’t want to take on all his debt when they marry. So she devised a plan to have him free and clear before the wedding.
Basically, OP would be dumping most of his income into paying off his debt, with a small amount allocated to personal spending. On her side, his fiancée offered to cover all of their living expenses during those three years.
He Has a Proposal
After considering that proposal, OP suggested an alternative plan: his fiancée pays off his debts, and OP repays the amount in a year and a half, eliminating the need to pay interest. He thinks this approach would allow them to put a bigger dent in the mortgage while sticking to the timeline.
OP’s fiancée wasn’t too happy with his counterproposal, but she didn’t reject it outright. She said she needed some time to think it over.
While she pondered what to do, OP discussed the situation with friends over drinks. His friends told him he was a complete jerk for not jumping at the fiancée’s offer to become debt-free in two years.
He Should Have Jumped at the Offer
OP’s friends also pointed out that even if OP paid back the amount, his plan would still tie up a fifth of his fiancée’s savings for a year and a half. And that meant she couldn’t make any interest or other earnings on it during that time.
While OP is proud of his fiancée’s financial achievements, he thinks she’s trying to restrict his lifestyle by forcing him to pay off his debt before they get married. If she pays the $67,000 upfront, he won’t have to sacrifice as much.
By and large, Redditors aren’t too impressed with OP’s approach to this situation or his counterproposal to his fiancée.
He’s Asking For Too Much
They say he’s being selfish for asking her to take on all the risk while he essentially skates out of his debt.
And several commenters relate stories about women they knew who gave a mound of money to their fiancés or husbands only to be cheated on or jilted.
OP is getting plenty of advice just to shut up, take his fiancée’s offer, and be thankful for the opportunity to have such a supportive partner.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.