This guy took to Reddit to ask if he was wrong for not allowing his sister-in-law to move in with his family. Here’s the full story.
Married With 3 Kids
The Original Poster (OP) is a 39-year-old who has been happily married to his 38-year-old wife for 15 years. They Have 3 children aged 12, 9, and 7.
Ann aged 36, the younger sister of OP’s wife, currently resides in Florida with her GF and two children aged 15 and 10.
About five years ago, Ann divorced the kids’ father and came out as bisexual. Although OP is unaware of the specifics regarding her divorce, he is aware that she was given primary custody of her children following a protracted and contentious custody dispute.
His Sister-In-Law Needs to Move Out
The story began when OP’s wife approached him last weekend and said she needed to talk. OP’s wife wasn’t sure, but it seemed that Ann’s landlord either declined to renew the lease for the home they rent, or they raised the rate to force Ann out.
As a result, Ann must vacate their home by June 1st. Ann is thinking of moving her family out of Florida due to recent political developments in the state.
Moving to a More Progressive State
OP’s family resides in a Midwest state with a far more accepting political climate for LGBTQ+ people. Ann informed OP’s wife that she believes that relocating their family to their state would benefit them.
However, they have tight deadlines because of their living conditions. So, while they look for housing, Ann asked OP’s wife if they could stay with them.
OP admitted to his wife that he has a lot of doubts about the idea. Since they only have one additional bedroom, finding a place for everyone to sleep would be challenging and possibly require grouping the kids’ rooms.
He Has His Reservations
Plus, as OP now works from home and has an office there, this would directly affect OP’s professional status.
Additionally, OP mentioned that the property market in their region is currently quite difficult. Homes are selling quickly and for prices over market value. Nothing has improved in the rental market.
As a result, all of this made OP think that if Ann and her family decide to stay with them, it won’t be for a brief period of time. OP says he and his children will be the ones affected by this most directly.
OP and his wife discussed those issues, and OP informed her that he didn’t believe it was a good idea. He thinks Ann is asking a lot of their family, and he doesn’t think they are in a good position to take them in, feeling horrible for Ann and her family’s predicament.
He Is Being Inconsistent
But OP’s wife was not at all pleased with OP’s response. She said that OP had previously taken his brother and his family on short-term trips and didn’t care about her sister.
OP replied that the circumstances were very different. OP went on to say that they were aware of the precise length of his brother’s stay, and his brother ultimately stayed for one week shorter than they had planned. Plus, OP had 2 additional bedrooms at that time and wasn’t working from home.
As a result, OP’s wife got upset and stopped speaking to OP. OP felt bad and asked Reddit whether he was wrong for what he did.
Hundreds of Reddit comments poured in supporting OP.
One Reddit user said that what OP describes will probably put a big strain on his marriage. And if OP does agree to it, make sure it’s for a clearly defined short-term time, and then they move out, regardless.
Another Redditor commented, “You articulated clear and cogent reasons for declining to allow them to stay with you. I understand your wife wants to help her sister, but this just doesn’t feel like a reasonable ask to me. You’re right that you and your kids will be most impacted by this, and also that if the housing market is bad, their “temporary” stay could become indefinite.”
So what do you think? What would you have done if you were in OP’s situation?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Krakenimages.com. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.