This Reddit user is grappling with the question of whether she should compromise her personal identity for the sake of a baby shower.
Her Best Friend’s Baby Shower
The Original Poster (OP) is a 31-year-old who is organizing a baby shower with her mother for OP’s best friend.
OP and her BSF, Lisa, have been friends since childhood. OP says she would sacrifice anything for her. OP was her maid of honor at her wedding.
OP is a devoted Christian who wears a cross and also has four tattoos.
Hide Your Cross and Tattoos
Things recently turned ugly when Lisa’s mother, Joanne, got in touch with OP and told her not to display her tattoos or wear her cross in the baby shower and try to lose some weight.
OP says she covers her tattoos at work but usually doesn’t hide them in her personal life. She wears a small cross that frequently dips into her shirt—not on purpose, but it always ends up there.
OP is a bit over 350 pounds and six feet tall. However, she is currently trying to lose some weight. She mentioned she is taking her time and doing it for herself and not for social acceptance.
OP says it doesn’t affect her because she’s always been big and has heard it all.
Her Best Friend Loves Her for Who She Is
Lisa loves OP for who she is and understands she’s doing everything, but she doesn’t really give a damn about appearances.
Joanne and Lisa do not get along well. Lisa almost didn’t get invited to the wedding because of how rude she was to OP, Lisa’s husband, and Lisa’s mother-in-law during the wedding planning.
Her Mother Made a Scene at the Wedding
She also treated Lisa horribly for most of her childhood and was only invited because she is the “mom.” Plus, she nearly had to leave the wedding celebration after she made the pastor’s wife weep and threatened to set the church on fire. She arrived drunk, and at the very end, she puked on OP, ruining her dress.
So when OP was asked to lose weight and cover her tattoos before the wedding because her mother truly didn’t like them, OP respectfully changed the topic.
She had little influence because she didn’t even contribute financially to Lisa’s wedding, and OP covered the costs of the church, the legal fees, the majority of the decorations, and half the meal. So, most of the wedding costs were likewise OP’s.
She Tried to Turn the Family Against Her
Things took a turn when attempting to sway Lisa to her side was unsuccessful. Joanne turned to her entire family and said that OP would be influencing the baby to consume an unhealthy diet. She added OP’s tattoos were “unseemly” for a shower. And she also mentioned how OP’s religion is a cult.
OP was furious and shocked, and when Joanne called her again, OP responded that she would not alter her identity for her benefit and that, should she ask again, OP would cancel her flight, for which OP was paying.
As a result, she yelled at OP and called her a [jerk] for destroying the moment.
She later rallied several members of her family against OP, and they all told OP she shouldn’t go to the shower.
Should She Compromise?
Lisa is willing to decline everyone’s invitation, but OP is beginning to wonder whether she should give in at least on the tattoos and cross to ease Lisa’s worries and for the baby’s sake.
OP asked Reddit whether she would be wrong for not covering her cross and tattoos. Several Redditors sided with OP and said she was not wrong.
One Reddit user wrote, “You don’t have a problem with your appearance, and neither does Lisa. Not sure why Joanne thinks she is entitled to write the rules about it. Also, it doesn’t seem as if her absence at a baby shower would be missed. Had to laugh at how your weight would influence an unborn child. That’s a pretty strong influence.”
Another Redditor commented, “Sounds like Joanne is jealous that she isn’t doing all this with her daughter. I’m assuming there is a reason for that. Doesn’t matter what her mother thinks if Lisa isn’t worried because it is her day, not her mother’s.”
So what is your view? What would you do if you were in OP’s situation?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Mangostar. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.