Was she so wrong for asking for some more independence from her emotionally draining partner? He’s not happy with the new arrangement and who can blame him; he’s been saving money being with her… not paying rent, groceries or for a much needed therapist!
The Original Poster (OP), aged 22, has been living happily together with her 22-year-old partner for a year.
OP characterizes her demeanor as calm, reserved, and rather stiff. The very reverse is true with her partner.
He is impulsive, touchy, and highly sensitive to both positive and negative emotions.
However, recently, they have had many quarrels about the same issue they’ve been having.
Secretly Living Together
OP shares that her partner has been spending every day and night at her apartment for the past year without her parent’s knowledge.
Her Parents Financed Her Life
As a foreign student reliant on her parents for financial support, she became aware of how this arrangement has affected her personal development, studies, and ambitions.
He Didn’t Pay His Way
Plus, her partner hadn’t contributed to any of their expenses until last month, when they started sharing the cost of groceries due to OP’s limited financial means.
She Needs to Prioritize Herself
OP’s partner is currently emotionally reliant on her, so she realized she needs to regain a sense of balance and prioritize her own needs.
The Proposed Schedule
She proposed a schedule where they spend weekdays apart and spend weekends together.
She Was Sensitive to His Feelings
OP made an effort to explain this to him in the most delicate manner possible, giving him all her “good reasons” in the hopes that they would make sense to him.
Kicked the Wall in Anger
Instead, he believed that OP was losing interest in him, kicked the wall, and started crying as a result of this. He became emotional and hadn’t fully recovered.
He Was Not Happy!
He wasn’t happy, saying it was strange that OP was making this change after a year, but OP replied it is not because she doesn’t feel anything for him.
She Wasn’t Ready for the Commitment
OP explained to him that she has realized that she’s not ready to purposefully move in with him, something her parents would be strongly against.
Eventually, they agreed and carried on.
However, since this “day rationing” between them began, he has routinely become emotional.
She’s Sick of Needing to Emotionally Support Him
Recently, OP had had enough of consoling him since she was worn out and carried on with her studies.
Love Is Blind
As a result, he started sobbing and wrote a message saying, “Every day I spend with you, I get hurt. I love you so much I’m blind and can’t see it,” and left.
Was She Doing Something Wrong?
This made OP feel awful, and she began to wonder whether she could be handling this situation poorly because of her partner’s frequent, strong responses and whether her desire for more alone time is hurting him.
She took to Reddit to ask for opinions, and many sided with OP saying she was not wrong.
One Redditor said that OP’s partner’s traits are not healthy and that she should take him for professional help.
His Behavior Is Likely to Escalate
Another Reddit user wrote, “His behaviors are very concerning. I’m not sure if he’ll potentially become physically abusive later, though kicking the wall is a red flag. At the very least, he’s way too dependent on you. He very clearly needs therapy to help him cope when he cannot be around you.”
That’s Emotional Manipulation
A third Redditor pointed out that this guy isn’t actually ready for a relationship, as he’s unstable and manipulative.
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The post Her Boyfriend Was a Freeloading, Emotional Leech So She Changed the Rules – He Lost It! first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.