A supportive mother reached the end of her line when her daughter said she was moving away to live with a girl in another state. She says she’s too young, but is that the only reason?
A Well-Behaved Daughter
A mother, 46 years old, with two children, Andrew, 16 years old, and Nicole, 21 years old. As a child, Nicole was bright and excelled in her classes. She went to college with a plan to get a Master’s degree.
The Original Poster (OP) never had to worry about her doing well or hitting milestones. However, the last few years have been surprising for OP.
Nicole became withdrawn during her teen years and OP did not realize it until later. After her first year of college, she suddenly moved out of a relative’s home and got her own apartment.
Things Changed in Her College Years
Then, after her second year of college, she dropped out and told her parents that she was incredibly stressed and depressed and had been for years. It seemed like it was coming out of nowhere.
Last fall, Nicole got a full-time job and started talking about how she was happy and finally in a good routine, and that she loved working.
OP was glad things were going well for her now, but still hoping she’d return to college soon. One of the biggest recent bombshells Nicole dropped on OP was a month ago when they went out for lunch.
Nicole told OP about her girlfriend, who is 25 years old. She admitted to OP that she was a lesbian and that she and her girlfriend had been dating since January.
A New Girlfriend
She had flown over 1,000 miles to see this girl she had never met, and had only called and video chatted with for a few months. OP was shocked and angry, but all she did was gently scold her for not telling her.
She said she was glad Nicole was okay and had a good time with her girlfriend. She was very new to this whole thing with her daughter, as she thought Nicole was interested in men, but she was willing to support her because she loved her.
The problem now is that Nicole told OP earlier this week that she intends to move within the next year and a half.
She says it may be sooner rather than later because things are changing with her girlfriend’s living situation, and she wanted to give OP a heads-up.
Now, She Wants to Move in With Her Girlfriend
OP told her absolutely not, that she can’t move in with someone she’s only been dating for a couple of months, especially not when she was moving several states away.
All of Nicole’s family is here, including OP, her father, her brother, and her three living grandparents. OP told her she was too young and can’t move that far away from them just for a girl.
Nicole told her that regardless of her girlfriend, she wanted to move far away for years, and her girlfriend’s state was on a list of potential places.
She said she loved being there when she visited, and can’t wait to go back. She says OP is unreasonable for asking her to stay, and that she hates it there and feels like she “can’t be herself.”
OP is now questioning if she is in the wrong, as she does not think Nicole is old enough or mature enough to leave. She is conflicted and seeks the opinion of others on the Reddit forum.
What Redditors Said
One Redditor replied, “Fully embrace and support her, because it sounds like she’s happy. Stay on her good side, and hopefully, she will bring you along in her new life.”
SaysSaysSaysSays advised, “As a parent, you sometimes have to let go and let them figure things out. The best thing you can do is offer your stance, but say you will always be there for her.”
What do you think? Should OP support her daughter no matter what, or are her concerns valid? Should Nicole move in with someone she’s only been dating for a few months?
The post First Her Daughter Dropped Out of College, Then She Was Gay and Now She Wants to Move Across the Country With Her Girlfriend. As Her Mother, She’s Run Out of Patience first appeared on Wealthy Living
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Vladimir Gjorgiev. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.