When a parent remarries, there is a delicate balance to strike between fostering relationships and respecting personal boundaries. One Reddit user was grappling with a difficult situation involving her teenage daughter’s unwillingness to engage with her new stepfamily.
A Blended Family
The Original Poster (OP) is a 49-year-old who recently married her 52-year-old spouse, who has a deaf 7-year-old daughter. She only uses ASL to communicate.
OP has a 17-year-old daughter who is a relatively trouble-free teenager.
She excels academically and has never created any issues beyond typical teen issues.
However, OP’s daughter doesn’t like her new stepdad or step-sister.
She’s Resisting Joining Her New Family
Although she doesn’t act rudely, she essentially ignores them. For instance, she skipped her step-sister’s birthday party and only made small talk with OP’s husband.
OP did try to get the family together for activities to strengthen the link, but she gave up when it didn’t work out.
OP also can’t really say anything to her daughter for not liking her new family, as she isn’t being openly rude or hurtful to them.
OP started taking ASL classes when her relationship with her new husband when things started to become serious, and she is now pretty much fluent in ASL.
But OP’s daughter never tried, which OP says is okay because she doesn’t technically owe anything to do so.
She’s Babysitting Her Stepsister
However, things have changed recently as her daughter has started to watch her step-sister as a paid babysitter when the parents aren’t around.
OP says her daughter needs to master at least the basics of ASL, given she is now spending time in which she is in charge of a small child.
Despite OP’s recommendations to watch YouTube videos and learn ASL, her daughter refused to try learning even a few words, claiming that she was not to blame for OP’s decision to be in the life of a challenged child.
It Has Flow Effects
OP says her marriage has also been experiencing many problems because of this issue.
Her husband revealed that he is beginning to feel uneasy about his little daughter living with someone so distant that her step-sister won’t even try to interact with her.
He has also mentioned that he is considering divorcing since he worries about how this will affect his child.
Given everything, OP had no choice but to set boundaries.
She Gave Her an Ultimatum
She told her daughter, who will graduate from high school next month, that she has to learn the fundamentals of ASL at least if she wants to live with OP for the duration of her college career.
OP mentioned that she doesn’t have to get along with her stepfather and stepsister or hang out with them, but she must be able to converse with them to be safe.
OP made it plain that if she chooses not to, she is welcome to live in a dorm which OP would pay for, but there are some ground rules to follow when residing in OP’s home as OP and her husband split the cost of the property equally.
However, OP’s daughter got angry and avoided OP. She hasn’t spoken to OP for seven days now.
Everyone Is at Fault
OP took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for what she did.
One Reddit user pointed out that OP, her daughter, and her new husband are all jerks, as each person is not acting responsibly and is in the wrong.
Another Redditor wrote, “You’re wrong to your daughter for marrying someone and forcing her to live with two people she doesn’t like. And now you’re double TA for telling her you’ll kick her out of her house if she doesn’t learn a new language for a step-sibling she didn’t even want.”
A third Reddit user shared that OP’s wrong for leaving her stepdaughter in the care of someone she can’t communicate with. The comment read, “Also your daughter has been clear that she doesn’t want to have a relationship with her so she should never have been a choice for a babysitter.”
What do you think? Did OP do the right thing by forcing her daughter to learn ASL?
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The post Her Daughter Refused to Learn Sign Language to Communicate With Her Younger Step-Sister, so She Told Her to Move Out first appeared on Wealthy Living
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Source: Reddit