On a recent Reddit thread, this woman wanted to know if she was being selfish for not wanting to accept her boyfriend’s parents living with them.
Home Sweet Home
The Original Poster (OP) and her boyfriend (D) had been living together in an Australian city for three years.
His Parents Fly In
But then, a few months ago, his parents arrived from India to stay with them.
OP was initially enthusiastic about the visit and made a conscious effort to make them feel at ease.
Unreasonable Demands
Initially, they were kind to OP, but as time passed, some of their demands made OP feel uncomfortable in her own home.
No Bed Sharing
One of their requests was that OP and D not share the same bedroom, causing him to camp out in the living room for two months.
Taking Control
Additionally, the mother took control of the kitchen and excluded OP from grocery shopping despite repeated requests to include her.
Making Themselves at Home
D’s parents also disrupted OP’s life in a variety of ways.
First, D did not acknowledge OP as his girlfriend in front of friends.
Second, they did not offer to help with cleaning and general upkeep despite living in the same house.
There’s More!
Third, they rearranged the furniture multiple times despite being asked not to.
Fourth, the father expressed concern over OP not helping his wife in the kitchen, even though it wasn’t true.
Fiance Gets All the Credit
Fifth, the parents gave credit to D and thanked him instead of OP on several occasions, even when they knew he was not involved in planning or executing dinner parties or trips.
And More!
Finally, the father made OP uncomfortable by expressing discomfort with her wearing a short dress at home, claiming that it went against their family values.
He apologized later but maintained that these were their family values.
He Ignored Everything
OP is troubled by the behavior of D’s parents, but D, who has always been ideal throughout their relationship, appears to ignore the issue.
He did not stand up for her when his father expressed discomfort with her clothing.
Dismissed
Whenever OP raised her concerns, D dismissed them, saying that they should make his parents feel comfortable because they are guests, or that his father is traditional, and his mentality is not problematic.
Long-Distance Relationship
D’s parents stayed with them for three months before leaving, after which OP moved to another city in Australia for a job.
Their long-distance relationship has been going well for the past four months, and they see each other once a month.
Here We Go Again
However, D recently informed her that his parents would be visiting again shortly for two months.
OP is surprised that D did not consult her or give her prior notice before booking his parents’ flight tickets.
She Must Accept Them
This has raised her concerns, which D dismisses by saying that they are his parents.
She has also been informed that these visits will be frequent, and she must accept them when she moves back in with him.
Should She Stand Up For Herself?
OP feels that she is being asked to sacrifice her privacy and personal space for several months every year.
She clarifies that she would never ask D to prevent his parents from visiting them for a few weeks every year.
However, she wonders if she is being unreasonable in expecting D to consider her needs and stand up for her when necessary.
Cultural Expectations
She adds that she is also from an Indian background, but a different culture, and is surprised by the prevalence of this issue even in educated Indian families.
Wait for It…
Reddit users are mostly in agreement that OP is not wrong for feeling uncomfortable and unwelcome in D’s home. They advise her not to move back in with him until his parents and he starts treating her as a full partner in the relationship, which may be unlikely due to cultural differences.
One user pointed out, “If she’s being treated like this as a non-married GF, I’d expect the treatment to be even worse if they should marry.”
It Will Only Get Worse
Some suggest that she should break up with him and find someone who will have her back, while others warn her that things may get worse if she marries him, and she may end up taking care of his parents in their old age. There is a general consensus that values clashes are the most difficult thing to reconcile in a relationship because they are unlikely to change.
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The post She Is Fed Up With Her Future In-Laws Taking Over Their Home and Her Fiance Saying Nothing! Will It Only Get Worse Once They’re Married? first appeared on Wealthy Living.
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Source: Reddit