When we reconnect with a loved one after years of estrangement, we may discover that their beliefs and attitudes have changed in ways we never anticipated. This is the situation faced by one Reddit user who recently reconnected with her mother only to find out that she holds vehemently transphobic views. Here’s the full story.
She Reconnected With Her Mother
The Original Poster (OP) reconnected with her mother recently, and for the past month, they have been calling each other once a week and rekindling their relationship. OP didn’t share personal information about herself but said that she is a person who has nothing but respect for trans people.
The story began when they spoke yesterday, and she asked how OP was, and she told her everything was well. Then when OP asked how she is these days, she said, “Oh, I’m a TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist)” out loud.
“I’m a TERF”
OP was taken aback, and she immediately questioned her, hoping that she was merely a “radical feminist” who had picked up a new online phrase. But no, she then continued to spout hateful words about Trans people for the next hour or so.
She deemed it repugnant that the majority of those who “claim to be trans” haven’t transitioned. OP remarked that perhaps people don’t feel the need to transition medically.
She replied that if they don’t want to transition, they should start to feel at ease with the gender they were given at birth. Then OP mentioned how difficult it is to get medical care here for things like gender clinics.
“They’re Trying to Trans the Kids”
She declared that she didn’t give a damn and that the NHS should pay more attention to things like mental health services, which actually cause deaths. She went on to say horribly transphobic comments like “They’re trying to trans the kids,” and OP would respond with a counterargument throughout the entire call.
She didn’t respond to any of OP’s arguments with logic, essentially claiming that all Trans persons are either lying about being Trans or are pedophiles at worst.
This has been upsetting since OP’s mother is bisexual, and despite usually leaning left, especially on social issues, her mother feels empowered to “push back against the trans narrative” on Facebook.
She Tried to Counter Her Arguments but to No Avail
OP was upset about what happened and took to Reddit to share the incident.
Several Redditors shared their thoughts, and one Redditor wrote, “The way to effectively communicate is to inform her that you do not want to talk politics with her. And if she cannot respect that, and you both can’t have a respectful convo like mother and daughter, then the Trans Issue aside, there is a problem with the relationship. She will not respect your boundaries.”
Another Reddit user pointed out that OP’s mother has been radicalized by the internet, and OP should try to engage and question her beliefs or go no contact or limit contact.
A third Reddit user commented, “It often feels once someone has gone down the radicalization hole, they’re never coming out of it. Presumably, she’s watching loads of anti-trans YouTubers, etc, and unless you try and provide her with alternatives, it’s going to carry on.”
So what do you think? Have you come across situations like these?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.