In the wake of his wife’s passing, this father found himself grappling with a difficult decision concerning his teenage daughter’s emotional well-being and her academic performance.
Dealing With Grief
The Original Poster (OP) is a 39-year-old who is torn over a choice he recently made about his 16-year-old daughter.
OP shares that life has been difficult for both of them since the death of his wife. He says that it has been difficult to care for his daughter while managing his own emotions.
OP’s daughter has been incredibly worried, and he can tell how emotionally troubled she is.
She requested a leave of absence from school to deal with her trauma, but OP ultimately put her academic performance first.
Worried for Her Education
OP shared that his daughter is a bright student who excels in her studies, and he admits that he’s always been a stickler for education. OP says that this is especially true of math and science, which are crucial subjects that he wouldn’t want to jeopardize.
OP couldn’t help but consider how it might affect her academic standing and future opportunities when she came to him to ask about not going to school for some time.
OP was worried that she wouldn’t perform as well academically if she missed class, which may hurt her chances of getting into a reputable college.
Ignoring Her Emotional Health
So OP advised her to continue going to school instead of letting her take some time off, telling her that he thought keeping to a schedule and concentrating on her studies would give her stability and keep her on course.
However, OP’s daughter was extremely upset by his reply
She said that OP didn’t consider her sentiments and put her academic success ahead of her emotional health. She thinks OP is disregarding her need for “time to heal” and acting coldly and emotionlessly.
Let Her Heal
OP took to Reddit to ask whether he was in the wrong for what he did and hundreds of comments came in saying that OP was wrong.
One Reddit user wrote, “She needed time to grieve. A couple of weeks out of school won’t ruin her academic results. I know this is hard and I am sorry for your loss, but you need to stop being lazy. Get her teachers involved and make sure she can take the rest she deserves while staying on track with school. I am sorry for your loss.”
Another Redditor pointed out that OP’s daughter lost her mother and that if she’s a great student, taking some time off won’t ruin her future.
A third Reddit user commented, “You really think your daughter is processing what she’s being taught right now? Setting aside your, frankly, cruel disregard for her mental health, your approach is completely counterproductive from an educational standpoint. If she continues to attend school uninterrupted, her teachers will expect her to meet the regular deadlines for papers and tests, even though she is not in a headspace to perform.”
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Fabiana Ponzi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.