A woman’s husband, who had been a great partner, loses his job, starts partying excessively, and suggests merging finances, leaving her unsure of what to do next.
Finding Mr Right
The Original Poster (OP), a 33-year-old woman, has had a tough time finding the right partner.
That’s until she met H, a 40-year-old man.
They hit it off immediately, and after dating for two years, H proposed, which OP happily accepted.
A Change In Behavior
Other than keeping their finances separate, their relationship was going well until the past few months, when H’s behavior took a sharp turn.
He began changing his style of dressing and started wearing cheaper cologne.
OP suspected something was amiss, but H didn’t want to talk about it.
A Night Clubbing
One day, he asked OP to go to a club with him, and she reluctantly agreed to join him.
The experience turned out to be a nightmare for OP, as loud music and flashing lights triggered her sensory issues.
H, on the other hand, seemed to have a great time and wanted to stay longer.
Out of Control
Over the next few weeks, H’s partying habits got worse, and he ended up getting fired from his job.
He would often stay out late and come back smelling of alcohol.
Won’t Accept Help
OP was at her wits’ end.
She suggested therapy, but H refused to go, claiming he didn’t want to waste his life anymore.
OP even offered to pay for the therapy, but H refused, claiming he was tired of being told what to do.
After H’s savings ran out, he started dipping into his IRA and even suggested merging their finances, which OP refused.
H accused OP of financial abuse, and when she gave him an ultimatum, he called her abusive.
At Her Wit’s End
OP feels stuck and doesn’t know what to do. Leaving H would mean leaving him broke and homeless since he has no savings, no job, and no living family.
On the other hand, waiting it out seems impossible, as OP is already at her wits’ end.
She asked Redditors for advice.
What the Internet Had to Say
Ruphoria said something similar happened to her. She replied, “Could be a manic episode. My ex-husband developed bipolar in his late 30s, and it went quite similarly.”
Another user responded, “There will come a point where you just need to prioritize yourself. Evidently, you’re quite close to that point.”
What would you do? Do you think this is a mental health problem or a man going through a mid-life crisis? Share your comment!
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