Her Mom Wants to Bring Her New Boyfriend to the Family Vacation, but She Thinks Its Too Soon After Her Father’s Passing

A Reddit user wrote on a subthread to express their feelings after their mom revealed they would bring their boyfriend to their family vacation less than a year after her father passed.

She Lost Her Father

The Original Poster’s (OP) father passed away one year ago (April 2022) after a 1.5-year battle with cancer. At only 62 years old, he was married to OP’s mother for 31 years.

Prior to his illness, the couple had been experiencing marital problems and were even considering divorce. However, as OP’s father underwent treatment and experienced the ups and downs of his illness, he and his wife were able to come together and resolve some of their issues.

Her Mother Stood by Her Father

Throughout the process, OP’s mother was a constant source of support, caring for her husband every step of the way.

OP continues to miss her father every day. While she had always been close to her mother, she feels like she is seeing and talking to her less and less since her father’s passing, which saddens her.

In August of 2022, just four months after OP’s father passed away, her mother started seeing someone. Although she referred to him as a “friend” and mentioned him in conversation, OP wanted nothing to do with him and still feels that way. She thought it was too soon for her mother to start a new relationship and expressed this to her.

A New Relationship

OP understands that everyone grieves differently and recognizes that dating after losing a spouse is difficult. However, in her opinion, conversations between her mother and the man she is seeing have been awkward, and the chemistry between them seems off. 

Despite the concerns and push-back from OP, her sister, and the extended family (who are all very close-knit), OP feels that their mother is disregarding their feelings about this new relationship.

The man OP’s mother is seeing has now started attending family events and parties, and there is an awkward atmosphere around him. Nobody has voiced their discomfort out loud, but it is palpable.

Including Her Mother’s New Boyfriend in the Family

The man showed up unexpectedly during a recent family Easter party at OP’s parents’ house. OP’s mother knew he was coming but did not inform anyone else. As per tradition, the family stood in prayer before dinner, and OP’s uncle prayed out loud for those who have passed away. 

This made OP feel extremely uncomfortable, as the man who is dating her mother was there, holding hands with the family as they remembered OP’s father in his own house, just shy of one year after his passing.

The extended family is now booking flights for a large vacation in June, and they have already booked a condo for the trip. During the Easter gathering, OP’s mother casually mentioned that she would be bringing her boyfriend along for the vacation.

An Upcoming Vacation

However, OP did not hear this then and only found out from a cousin later. Upon learning this, OP promptly called her mother to express her feelings about the situation and said she did not want the boyfriend to come.

However, OP’s mother changed the subject and did not acknowledge their concerns at all.

In addition to the earlier issues, another problem has now arisen regarding the upcoming family vacation. Initially, the plan was to leave a day early to save on flight costs, and the family had agreed to split the expenses.

However, with the inclusion of OP’s mother’s boyfriend, the original plan is no longer feasible, and OP will end up spending more money.

The main concern for OP is not the cost but rather the principle of the matter. Out of the 20 family members who will be on this trip, no one wants the boyfriend to be there, except for OP’s mother.

Unfortunately, he will be staying in the same condo as the rest of the family, creating an awkward situation where everyone will have to tiptoe around for the entire week.

This is not how the family envisioned their vacation, as they had hoped to relax and enjoy quality time together.

What Redditors Said

Reddit users are split in their opinions. Some are empathetic towards the family’s discomfort with the mother’s new boyfriend, while others view OP as the jerk in the situation and believe that the mother deserves to be happy.

They note that the marriage was already over before the father passed away and that the mother had put aside her issues to care for him. Some users point out that the family should be more understanding of the mother’s need to move on and find happiness.

However, others believe that the family’s discomfort is valid, given the awkwardness that arises when the new boyfriend attends family events.

They also note that the mother did not respect OP’s feelings when they expressed discomfort about the boyfriend coming on a family vacation.

Overall, while the opinions are split, most users believe that the family should be more considerate of the mother’s feelings and allow her to move on.

What do you think? What would you do if you were OP?

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The post Her Mom Wants to Bring Her New Boyfriend to the Family Vacation, but She Thinks Its Too Soon After Her Father’s Passing first appeared on Wealthy Living

Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.

Source: Reddit