He planned a family lunch when he thought his brother-in-law wouldn’t be there, he was wrong. While he genuinely tries to accommodate his many issues, he admittedly finds it hard to keep up. This one easter dinner he messed it up, not knowing the olives couldn’t be served with Mexican dishes!
A Complicated Relationship
The Original Poster (OP) shared that he has a complicated relationship with their brother-in-law, who is 32 years old, while he and his wife are both 25.
While OP acknowledges that his brother-in-law has genuine issues, such as autism, ADHD, and set-point obesity, he also has the impression that his brother-in-law exploits people’s perceptions of these issues to control others.
OP is reluctant to speak out against his brother-in-law because it is forbidden in their family.
He Has a Tendency to Control
On Easter, OP offered to take his mother-in-law and father-in-law out for dinner to avoid having to cook at home. He strategically chose the time, since he knew his brother-in-law had planned to watch a TikTok live stream.
However, the brother-in-law ended up coming along. OP innocently ordered nachos, not realizing it would trigger his brother-in-law’s mysophobia.
He Ordered the Nachos!
OP’s wife begged him to order something else, but he did not pick up on her hints. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t order nachos, so he ordered them.
When the nachos arrived and he took his first bite, his brother-in-law started “shrieking like a child” at the table. He threw a full-fledged tantrum at the table.
His wife said, “he’s going to lose it because black olives don’t belong on nachos because they are from Spain, not Mexico.”
Everyone said he screwed up by ordering them, and in a moment of heated anger, he lashed out at his in-laws.
He said, “that the list of “not alloweds” around Brian is so long and ridiculous that I can’t keep up.”
Olives Don’t Belong in Mexico
After the incident, the whole family left, spoiling their nice Easter dinner.
After the incident, OP had a heated argument with his wife, who believed they should have known about their brother-in-law’s aversion to crunchy foods.
OP’s frustration towards their brother-in-law’s controlling behavior extends beyond this incident, and he expressed his dissatisfaction with how family members are expected to cater to his brother-in-law’s demands.
Due to the argument with his wife and the tension caused by the incident, OP’s relationship with his spouse has been strained.
What Redditors Thought
Snoo52682 made the pun, “Nacho problem.”
Another wrote, “No one can let their problems move to other people. If BIL cannot cope, then he has to remove himself from those situations. What would he have done if the people at the table right next to him ordered the nachos?”
YouAreAlwaysTheAH said, “Yeah, that’s not how autism works… If you have sensory issues related to the sound of the crunch, there’s this magical thing known as headphones.”
What do you think? Is the brother-in-law overreacting? Is the family catering too much to him, or are they trying to help?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cast Of Thousands. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.