A Reddit user turned to the community to ask if he was in the wrong for asking his GF permission to go on a 5-day work trip and leaving her alone with the kids.
An Elementary School Teacher
The Original Poster (OP) has a girlfriend and two children (2.5F and 1M). He is an elementary school teacher and teaches 6-year-olds.
Every year, the 11- and 12-year-olds go on a five-day school trip from Monday to Friday. OP has been an extra chaperone on this trip since he started working at the school. However, he acknowledges that the situation has changed since he now has kids, and going away for a few days is no longer as easy as it used to be.
A Special Group of Students
OP has a special connection with a particular group of students who are now 12 years old. This group was his “first class” when they were only 6 years old, so they hold a special place in his heart.
OP believes that fellow teachers will understand this sentiment. He feels that accompanying these students on their upcoming school trip would be a fitting farewell as they transition into high school and beyond.
During the previous year’s school trip, OP was unable to attend because it coincided with the birth of his son. However, he had hoped that this year he would be able to accompany the students on their trip once again.
He Discussed the Trip with His Girlfriend
OP has discussed his desire to attend the school trip with his girlfriend for an extended period, even prior to the birth of their son. His girlfriend has never expressed any objections to his plan.
However, OP is aware that the decision ultimately depends on how well their baby sleeps and eats. If the baby is not sleeping well, he would not consider going on the trip.
Fortunately, this is not the case at present, as the family has established a good routine despite the demands of raising two young children.
Several weeks ago, the principal of OP’s school asked him if he would like to attend the upcoming school trip. OP asked for a day to think it over and discuss the matter with his girlfriend. He made it clear to her that he would only go if she felt comfortable with it.
He even offered to help find additional support for her during the week and to assist with preparation, such as cooking dinner beforehand.
He Asked Her Multiple Times
OP asked his girlfriend multiple times if she had any reservations about him attending the trip and reassured her that he would understand if she did.
OP’s girlfriend did not explicitly ask him to stay home, so he gave the principal permission to proceed with his attendance on the school trip. The principal found a substitute teacher for his class, and everything was arranged accordingly.
OP informed his girlfriend that he would be going on the trip, and she initially had no issue with it. However, his girlfriend expressed her concerns after the plans were set in motion.
Now She’s Having Second Thoughts
She was upset that he would consider being away from her and the kids for five days and leaving her to care for their children alone.
OP understands that his girlfriend may feel abandoned by his decision to go on the school trip, but he also believes that he gave her ample opportunity to express her concerns before committing to the trip.
He had already informed his principal and coworkers of his intention to go, and any change to this plan would be difficult to arrange.
As a result, he is unsure if he would be in the wrong if he were to go on the trip.
What Redditors Said
Many Reddit users believe that OP is not the jerk in the situation. They argue that he allowed his girlfriend to express her feelings before committing to the trip and even offered to help with preparations.
Some commenters suggest that his girlfriend is unreasonable and overly dependent on him, especially considering he will be away for only five days.
Others suggest that OP should try to arrange for friends or family to help out during his absence to ease his girlfriend’s burden.
A few commenters argued that the communication between OP and his girlfriend may not have been as clear as he thinks and suggested that he try to have an open and honest conversation with her to better understand her concerns.
Nonetheless, most users agree that OP is not in the wrong for wanting to attend the school trip. Some suggest that he should offer his girlfriend a break from parenting in exchange for his time away.
What do you think? What would you do if you were OP?
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