A Reddit user recently wrote on a subthread to ask if they were in the wrong for wanting to skip their parents’ vow renewal after they expressed their disappointment in their child’s partner.
He Is Bisexual, but His Parents Don’t Know
For some background, the Original Poster (OP) is bisexual, and his parents are devout Christians. He has never told his parents about past relationships, whether with a man or a woman, because they have always appeared to be against dating.
As a result, OP has been fairly private about his life in general while growing up. From time to time, his parents have noticed this and asked him to be more open and communicate with them.
Late last year, OP’s parents said they felt like they didn’t really know their child due to his secrecy, and they expressed a desire to build a better relationship.
They Don’t Know Him
OP never desired to have a formal “coming out” announcement or anything of that nature because it did not feel authentic to his identity. He simply wishes to live his life with whomever he chooses.
His plan was to reveal his sexuality to his parents once he entered a serious relationship.
However, about seven years ago, OP accidentally revealed that he was dating a man in a conversation with his parents. Unfortunately, the reaction was not positive, and his parents strongly suggested that it was just “a phase.”
He Thought They’d Grow to Accept His Sexuality
Over the years, OP observed that his parents seemed to mature and grow in their understanding, leading him to believe that they would eventually be more accepting of their sexuality when the time was right.
OP feels it is now time to share the truth about his sexuality with his parents. He has been in a relationship with their boyfriend, Griffin (27M), for nine months. They are in a long-distance relationship, and they visit each other monthly.
Their relationship has become quite serious, they have met each other’s friends, coworkers, and bosses. Additionally, Griffin has come out to his own parents about their relationship. For OP, Griffin is undoubtedly their lifelong partner.
He Has Found His Life Long Partner
OP’s parents (55F and 57M) are planning to renew their vows (essentially, a second wedding ceremony for already married individuals) next week.
OP requested to have an in-person conversation with both of his parents, telling them he had a significant matter that needed to be discussed. Initially, his parents had planned to come over on the first day, but they canceled due to being busy and postponed it to the following day.
And they also postponed again for another day. Eventually, only OP’s father showed up on Wednesday. Although he was slightly irritated by the situation, OP simply wanted to get the conversation over with.
He Told His Father He Is Gay
When OP informed his father about his partner, Griffin, his father responded by saying that he would never disown OP because they are his son, and he loves them. However, he also stated that being in a same-sex relationship goes against his beliefs and that he does not approve of it.
Furthermore, he made it clear that he did not want to meet Griffin or know anything about him. This response left OP feeling disheartened, and he simply replied with an “okay” before leaving the room.
Later, OP’s mother called, stating that she was too busy planning an upcoming event to visit. Nevertheless, OP’s father had already informed her about Griffin, and she expressed a desire to meet him.
His Mother Would Accept Him as His “Friend”
However, she did not want Griffin to stay at the house when he visits, even though OP rents the property from their parents and lives there with their dog, Bubble.
Additionally, she refused to acknowledge Griffin as OP’s boyfriend and instead referred to him as a friend. She also insinuated that OP would have to answer to God for their “sinful” behavior.
OP finds himself in a difficult position. He is aware that his parents’ vow renewal is a significant event, and they are expected to walk their mother down the aisle. Nevertheless, given their parents’ negative response to his relationship, OP feels conflicted about attending the ceremony.
He Won’t Attend Their Vow Ceremony
He hesitates to support his parents’ relationship when they do not receive the same support in return. Seeking advice from Reddit, OP asks if he should attend the vow renewal or not.
Reddit users have commented on this situation. Some users have suggested that OP should not attend the ceremony, as their parents’ behavior has demonstrated a lack of respect and support for his relationship.
Some have also highlighted the potential consequences of attending the ceremony, including the possibility of being made to feel uncomfortable or experiencing future problems with housing arrangements.
Other users have emphasized the importance of the person’s own emotional well-being and have suggested that they prioritize this over attending the ceremony. However, some users have also cautioned that OP should consider whether he is staying away out of genuine discomfort or just to teach his parents a lesson.
What do you think? What would you do if were OP?
The post If His Parents Can’t Accept That He Is Gay, He Won’t Attend Their Vow Renewal Ceremony first appeared on Wealthy Living
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