A Reddit user asked the community if they thought he was in the wrong for calling out his brother’s girlfriend and her controlling behavior.
They Enjoy Gaming Together
The Original Poster (OP) and his brother, both males aged 31 and 28 respectively, often engage in playing various games together. However, a few months ago, OP’s brother decided to move in with his girlfriend.
Initially, OP thought highly of the girlfriend, and everything seemed to be going well. However, during one gaming session, when they were matched with two women players who had microphones, the girlfriend expressed her displeasure with the situation. She made it clear that she did not want her boyfriend to engage in any games with female players.
In an effort to honor his girlfriend’s wishes, OP’s brother chose to exit the game they were playing when they encountered two women players with microphones.
She Told Him Who He Could Play With
Following that experience, whenever they played games requiring microphones and had random team members, they only continued playing if all their teammates were men.
However, a more significant issue arose during a different game, where they joined a party for a dungeon run and encountered three players using female avatars. The girlfriend expressed her dissatisfaction with this situation as well, as it was unclear if the players were male or female, causing discomfort for her.
It Was Difficult to Follow Her Rules
OP found navigating his brother’s girlfriend’s boundaries challenging when playing games together. They spent significant time trying to find other players who wouldn’t violate her boundaries, which often required asking players about their gender before agreeing to play with them.
This process made OP feel uncomfortable, as he felt it was intrusive and awkward. Additionally, the effort to find a party that met the girlfriend’s approval cut into OP’s already limited time, making it challenging to enjoy the gaming experience.
They Decreased Their Game Time
OP’s gaming sessions with his brother decreased significantly from two to three times a week in the afternoon to only once a week, with no consistent schedule.
Despite feeling disappointed, OP respected his brother’s relationship and said nothing about the situation. Instead, he adjusted his gaming schedule to play later at night after putting his kids to bed.
OP attended a friend’s birthday celebration recently, where he ran into his brother and his brother’s girlfriend. During their conversation, the brother asked if OP wanted to play games together later in the week, to which he replied that he would think about it.
He Didn’t Want to Follow His Girlfriend’s Rules
However, OP also expressed his concerns about their gaming sessions, explaining that his limited free time made it difficult to spend it searching for players who only played male characters because his brother’s girlfriend was uncomfortable with female characters. OP further added that he was tired of sounding like a creep by asking players about their gender before playing with them.
After the birthday party, OP received a text from his brother late at night, saying that he and his girlfriend had been fighting. His brother expressed his understanding of why OP had voiced his concerns, as he, too, had felt frustrated with their situation.
However, he also believed that OP should have kept his thoughts to himself, as his brother usually did, instead of speaking up. OP began to wonder if he was in the wrong for being straightforward instead of sugarcoating the issue or telling a lie to avoid conflict.
What Redditors Said
Reddit users were unanimous in their opinion that the brother’s girlfriend is being unreasonable and controlling.
They point out that her insecurities and jealousy have no boundaries and that the brother is in an abusive relationship. They express concern for the brother’s well-being and advise OP to maintain his boundaries.
Many of them suggest that the girlfriend’s behavior is a red flag and that the brother needs to stand up for himself and address the issue with her.
They also criticize the brother for expecting OP to deal with his relationship issues in silence. Overall, the consensus is that OP is not the jerk and that the brother’s girlfriend needs to address her insecurities.
One user stated, “Your brother’s girlfriend is being ridiculous. She’s jealous of him hearing other women’s voices? She’s jealous of him looking at female video game characters? She doesn’t want him interacting with any other women, real or imaginary? Dude I think you were WAY nicer about this than you needed to be. You are not responsible for her insecurities or their weird ass relationship.”
What do you think? Should OP have expressed his concerns?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Master1305. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.