Recently, a person took to Reddit to share the painful experiences of growing up in a homophobic household, hiding his true self, and the subsequent fallout when his secret was revealed.
Parents With Strong Anti-homosexual Views
The Original Poster (OP) has known he was gay since he was 11 years old. But OP’s father, Adam, and mother, Lily, have always had strong anti-homosexual views.
When a gay person appeared on television, they would invariably make crude jokes and say depressing things like, “These people will go to hell.”
As a result, OP always made sure to keep his sexual identity a secret, and they never had any reason to suspect it.
He Kept His Sexual Identity a Secret
OP had been dating his high school boyfriend, Ben, for a while. Occasionally, they would go out together at night.
Things took a turn when one day, OP got home to see his father comforting his crying mother.
OP’s mom apparently learned about him and Ben via a gossipy neighbor.
His Mother Had Learned He Was Gay From a Neighbor
His father was angry and went on to say things like, “You’re going to hell” and “I’d rather have a dead son than a gay son.” OP made every effort to calm them down and speak to them, but he was unable to do so.
OP said the mood at home had been tense ever since.
They barely spoke to him, and although OP is an atheist, they forced him to visit the church in search of a “cure.”
They made OP’s life miserable and forbade him from communicating with Ben.
They Made His Life Miserable
OP experienced panic and anxiety attacks for a long time following that. He has hated his parents ever since.
Some years later, OP was able to pass the admission exam, making him the youngest member of his family to enroll in a university.
OP’s parents, especially his father, who was the first member of his family to attend college, were happy for him.
His parents covered all of the moving costs and even gave him a pricey laptop as a gift.
Later, OP connected with Peter at college. He is a great man, and he has always encouraged OP to pursue his goals.
He Began to Support Himself
OP also got a job, and since OP no longer needed his parents for financial support, he gradually cut off communication with them.
His calls and texts with his parents got shorter, and he ignored their calls for weeks at a time.
Things turned ugly again when OP revealed his relationship with Peter on social media, and his relatives started calling and messaging him nonstop, which OP always ignored.
Then OP’s mother personally came to his place, and they got into a heated argument.
She questioned why OP didn’t talk to her anymore and about Peter and how he is a bad son.
He Only Kept In Touch So They Would Pay for His College
In a fit of rage, OP replied that the only reason he had stayed in touch was because of the money his parents had provided to cover the living expenses, but that now that he had a job, he was told that his parents were no longer useful to him.
Upon hearing this, his mother went silent and left his place.
Now OP felt bad about what happened and took to Reddit to ask if he was wrong for what he did.
Redditors sided with OP and said that he was not wrong and that he did what he had to do to survive and escape a terrifying environment.
One Reddit user wrote, “They treated you like [dirt], and what you said does not even come close to what they have said and done to you in the past”
Another Redditor commented, “You did exactly what everyone would recommend, not coming out until you can do it safely. One harsh remark versus years of abuse, you could have said way worse… I am glad you are in a better place in your life and have enough support to process what growing up in that environment has meant for you.”
So what do you think? What would you do if you were in OP’s situation?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cast Of Thousands. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.