A frustrated Reddit user explained a recent experience with their half-sister on a subthread. She wants him to pay over $20K for her weight-loss surgery.
His Sister is Overweight
The Original Poster (OP) has been experiencing significant financial difficulties concerning his family lately. Due to the varying reactions of the individuals in his life, OP sought advice on Reddit.
OP, a 45-year-old male, has a half-sister named Alissa who is 37 years old and obese, weighing around 350 pounds.
Alissa has been discussing the possibility of undergoing gastric sleeve surgery for the past year or two as a means of weight loss. This type of surgery involves reducing the size of the stomach, and it can result in up to a 50% reduction of excess body fat within one to two years after the procedure.
He’s Happy She’s Trying
OP is aware of the challenges his half-sister, Alissa, has faced while attempting to lose weight, and he is pleased that she is exploring different methods to regain control of her life.
After some research, Alissa has found a doctor with whom she feels comfortable and has attended several consultations to learn more about gastric sleeve surgery. Thus far, everything appears to be progressing smoothly in relation to the procedure.
During a recent dinner at OP’s home, Alissa shared that the gastric sleeve surgery she desires is costly, with the doctor quoting $22,000 USD for the procedure and additional plastic surgery to remove excess skin and scars.
She Can’t Afford the Surgery
Regrettably, Alissa lacks any savings and has been living paycheck to paycheck due to her employment as a retail manager in a city with a high cost of living.
OP and his wife are employed in stable corporate fields with 9-5 jobs, placing them in a more favorable financial position than Alissa.
During Alissa’s visit to their home, she requested financial assistance for her gastric sleeve and subsequent plastic surgeries, as she lacked the financial means to pay for them. Alissa’s parents were unable to provide financial support as well.
They Offered a Compromise
Following a private discussion with his wife, OP determined they could not fund the surgery without altering their lifestyle. However, they offered to contribute $5,000 toward the procedures and provide care for Alissa’s pets during her recovery period.
Following OP’s offer to contribute $5,000 towards Alissa’s gastric sleeve and plastic surgeries, she has been displaying hostility towards him and his wife.
Alissa is now spreading negative remarks about them, accusing them of valuing their lifestyle over her well-being and not assisting her in experiencing a necessary, life-changing event.
OP believes that Alissa feels as if he is the one hindering her from living her life to the fullest and healthiest. Additionally, OP’s parents suggested withdrawing their 16-year-old son from his private school, which costs approximately the same as the surgery, to finance Alissa’s medical expenses.
They Don’t Want to Change Their Own Lives
OP’s wife promptly declined, citing that this action would disrupt their child’s education and mental health. Consequently, they have been perceived as the jerks of the family, and everyone has labeled them as greedy snobs.
OP wants to help his sister become healthier, but he believes they have already offered sufficient financial support and time if necessary. Therefore, he is questioning if he is unfair in this situation.
Reddit users generally agree that OP is not being unfair and that their offer was generous. Many suggest that OP prioritize his son and wife, as their responsibility lies with their immediate family first.
Redditors Criticize Her
Several users criticize Alissa for expecting her family members to pay for her cosmetic surgery and believe she should take financial responsibility for her own health. Some users advise that Alissa explores alternative funding options like loans or a side hustle.
While a few users suggest using gofundme, many believe that such crowdfunding is inappropriate in this situation.
One user wrote “You gave an offer to help both monetarily as well as with your time and help during recovery. She could always appreciate that and start looking at other options like possible loans, getting a side hustle, etc to fund her lifestyle change.
I feel for her, but she shouldn’t expect someone else to change their life around to pay for her health needs.”
What do you think? What would you do as OP in this situation?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cast Of Thousands. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.