In this Reddit post, a man shares his desire to give up work like his wife. However, if he has to keep working, he doesn’t want to fund her – even though he is benefiting from her inheritance.
They Both Worked Full Time
Before the birth of their daughter, the Original Poster (OP) and his spouse both worked full-time jobs in low-middle earning positions, with his wife earning slightly more than him.
Despite the financial strain, they managed to make ends meet and looked forward to welcoming their daughter into the world.
After their daughter was born, the couple faced new challenges.
His wife had to return to work just three months after their daughter was born due to financial constraints.
Unfortunately, this decision took a toll on her mental health, which was already fragile due to a minor disability that made work life difficult.
They Struggled to Find a Balance
The couple struggled to find a balance that would allow them to provide for their family, while also taking care of their own well-being.
Their situation became even more complicated when his wife’s grandma, who had raised her and was her only family, passed away when their daughter was just six months old.
While the loss was devastating, the wife inherited everything her grandma owned, including a significant sum of money.
His Wife Inherited a Large Sum of Money
While it was not enough for them to retire immediately, a considerable amount would allow them to buy a decent house and two new cars and invest for their retirement.
With the newfound financial stability, his wife decided to leave her job and become a stay-at-home mom.
Meanwhile, OP continued working despite wanting to stay home and care for their daughter.
While he understood the need to have an income, it was not easy for him to continue working while his wife was at home. However, he persevered and continued to work to provide for their family.
Recently, the couple had a conversation about budgeting and living off just one income.
He Doesn’t Want to Pay for Her
OP expressed that he did not want to fund his spouse’s hobbies and spend money if he was the only one working.
He suggested that if his wife chose not to work, she could buy clothes at a charity shop, get a friend to cut her hair for free, or start an online business to earn some extra money.
He believed he should not have to pay for items like the wife’s sewing materials or gym membership since they did not benefit from them.
His wife, however, disagreed. She argued her inheritance was worth more than a lifetime of work, and she should not have to compromise on her lifestyle just because she chose to stay home with their daughter.
She Thinks They Should Share
She felt they should share the money since it was an inheritance that had come to her, not just her contribution.
OP countered that he already paid for bills and food and was willing to provide for their daughter but did not see why they should fund their spouse’s spending.
He felt it was unfair for them to work and pay for his wife’s hobbies while not being able to pursue his own interests.
The couple’s differing views on the matter had created tension in their relationship. They both knew they needed to find a compromise that would work for both of them.
What Redditors Said
One user said, “Tbh, I would have locked him out of the house, and he couldn’t use the car either, since she paid for it.”
Wonkynoodlez asked, “Does this dude even like his wife?”
Another wrote, “She gets a lump sum of money, and he’s like “well, I know she has mental health issues AND a physical disability, but what do I want to be the stay at home parent?”
What do you think they should do? Should she cut back on her spending despite her massive contribution to their family? Who is being selfish?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Asier Romero. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.