An upset father asked Reddit users if they were in the wrong for missing their daughter’s ballet recital to go see their son’s play instead.
Two Different Kids
The Original Poster (OP) has a 10-year-old daughter named Carmen with his ex-partner Lisa and also has a stepson named Luke who is 18 years old, with his current wife Sadie.
OP’s relationship with Lisa ended when their daughter was born due to her infidelity.
Additionally, Luke’s biological father has been absent from his life since he was 10 years old, and OP has been taking care of him since then.
She Dances, and He Acts
OP’s daughter Carmen is enthusiastic about ballet and participates in a club that hosts monthly mini-recitals, as well as a major annual recital.
On the other hand, OP’s stepson Luke has a passion for theatre and is a member of a club that puts on four plays each year. OP has attended almost all of Carmen and Luke’s performances in the past.
A Recital and a Play on the Same Day!
However, a scheduling conflict arose when both the mini-recital and the play coincided on the same day, making it impossible for OP to attend both.
After much contemplation, OP ultimately decided to attend Luke’s play for two important reasons. Firstly, it was Luke’s last play before heading off to college, and secondly, Luke had secured the lead role.
OP did not make any promises to attend either Carmen’s ballet recital or Luke’s play. Due to OP’s occupation in the medical field, it is common for them to receive emergency calls or be called in for other reasons.
The day before the events, OP informed Carmen that they would not be able to attend the recital and provided an explanation for their absence. Despite the news, Carmen was understanding, and OP promised to buy her ice cream as a consolation.
He Arranged to Have the Missed Performance Recorded
To make up for their absence, OP arranged for their ex-brother-in-law to attend the recital in their place and record the performance. This way, OP could watch the recording with Carmen during their custody time.
Upon the conclusion of the play, OP’s ex-partner contacted him and accused him of being a jerk for prioritizing someone else’s child over their own daughter’s event. Furthermore, OP’s mother became involved in the matter and echoed similar sentiments.
Despite not believing that their decision was wrong, OP felt uncertain about the situation and sought outside perspective. That’s why he asked Redditors if he was the jerk for missing his daughter’s ballet recital in order to attend their son’s play.
What Redditors Said
In response to Reddit users’ questions about Carmen’s relationship with OP, they confirmed that she is indeed their daughter. Additionally, there was some confusion about custody arrangements. OP clarified that he has year-round custody of Carmen, while his ex-partner has her for one week and visitation on special events.
Lastly, OP expressed his sentiment that Luke, despite not being their biological child, is still his son. They made it clear that he does not care about his biological relationship and requested that anyone who thinks otherwise to refrain from commenting on the matter.
Many Reddit users agree that OP is not the jerk for missing his daughter’s ballet recital in order to attend his son’s play. Several users stated that OP communicated his reasons to his daughter and sought to make amends by arranging for a recording of the recital to watch with her later.
He Was Praised for Being a Good Parent
Some users even praised OP for being a good parent to both their biological daughter and their stepson.
Many users also expressed their disapproval of OP’s ex-partner, who had accused him of being unfair and had belittled their relationship with their stepson.
Some users felt that OP’s ex-partner’s behavior was unjustified, while others felt that she was projecting her own insecurities onto OP.
Ultimately, the majority of users agreed that OP had made a reasonable decision given the circumstances and that they should not feel guilty for missing the recital.
What do you think? What would you do if were OP?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cast Of Thousands. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.