A woman wrote to a Reddit thread, asking if she was being inconsiderate for paying for her son’s wedding and not giving any money to his fiancée’s family.
OP, a 46-year-old woman, offered to pay for her 24-year-old son’s (K) wedding to his 23-year-old high school sweetheart (B).
She and her husband are financially secure and able to afford the cost of the wedding.
Not Everyone Is Happy About It
Although K offered to cover half of the cost, OP suggested that he save the money for their honeymoon instead.
The problem started with B’s parents.
Entitled to the Money
They both insisted that K and B didn’t need a wedding and that OP should give them the money instead because they were about to be evicted from their rental home.
OP never got along with B’s parents.
Son Passed Away Tragically
Seven months ago, their older son passed away in a car crash.
He had been the one paying all their bills and rent. He left them all his money.
OP said that instead of grieving their loss, they complained about not being able to go on vacation this year.
Forego the Wedding
B’s parents kept reaching out to OP, stating that B would rather they be able to live comfortably than have a wedding.
OP did not tell B about this conversation and decided to block her parents from reaching out again.
The parents kept creating fake numbers to try to talk to OP.
Invitation to the Wedding
B has never given her parents money and has limited contact with them.
OP said B still wants them to come to the wedding because it would mean a lot to her since they always wanted to see her get married.
Enough Is Enough
OP says the final straw came when the parents called OP a bad parent.
OP wrote that the parents claimed she was “babying” K and that if she truly loved him, they wouldn’t be forcing him to have a big wedding because he struggles with social anxiety.
Criticizing HER Parenting Style!
The parents went on to tell OP that they should just let their kids get married in a courtroom or just have a very intimate wedding with only a few family members present.
Looking Forward to the Big Day
OP says that while K is scared of the wedding and all the social anxiety he has about it, he still can’t wait for the big day.
He Has Waited a Lifetime
He said that he’s waited his whole life to watch B walk down the aisle and for them to stand side-by-side at the altar.
OP states that even B is aware of K’s anxiety and has offered to just file paperwork instead of throwing a party.
He Will Put His Anxiety Aside
Again, K is committed to seeing the wedding of B’s dreams come true and has told OP that is he willing to do whatever it takes to get through the big day.
While OP is reassured K wants the wedding, she is still annoyed by B’s parents request to skip the big wedding and help them financially instead.
Is She Doing the Right Thing?
Many Reddit users completely agreed with OP’s take on the whole situation and agreed that she should see it through to throw the couple a big wedding.
“They are doing what they want. It seems like they are happy. As long as your kid wants the wedding, you are good. I’d block B’s family and move on.” one user commented.
Another comment said that even if the couple had decided to throw a smaller wedding, the leftover money should not be entitled to B’s parents.
They stated that there is absolutely no reason that B’s parents should be receiving money from her B’s family.
A Stark Warning
Another user warned OP to continue to keep an eye on B’s parents. They wrote “The fact that they were more concerned about losing out on vacation than losing their son really says it all.
Unless they both have some sort of disability preventing them from supporting themselves, they are solely responsible for their own circumstances.
All things considered, your son is a saint for still inviting them. I suggest you keep a close eye on them at the wedding should they try to guilt-mooch from the honeymoon fund.”
What do you think? Should OP give money to the fiancé’s parents? Have you ever been guilted into handing over money? Do you have nightmare in-laws?
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This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.