Sometimes it can be difficult to navigate the line between being loyal to family and being supportive of friends. This Reddit user found herself having to decide between her brother’s ex-girlfriend and her brother when she was asked to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding.
She Grew Up With Her Brother’s Ex
The Original Poster’s (OP) brother aged 34 had been dating his ex, who is also 34, for well over ten years.
OP and her brother have a 13-year age difference, so OP spent most of her childhood with her brother and his ex.
When OP’s parents or brother couldn’t, his ex-girlfriend would pick her up from school and soccer practice, take her shopping, and even join them on some of their previous family vacations.
She Was Like a Sister
More than OP’s own sister, the ex was close to OP like a big sister.
OP’s brother said she was “emotionally cheating” on him with his friend when they split up, but she claimed they both had different priorities in life and couldn’t live together any longer.
She no longer dated OP’s brother, but she still showed love to OP and even gave her an old prom dress to wear.
OP was really unhappy about the breakup and didn’t expect her to stay friendly with OP after the breakup.
She Kept in Touch
Thus OP maintained communication with her.
The story began when she recently informed OP that she was getting married and wanted her to be a bridesmaid.
The man she is currently seeing is not the one who OP’s brother claimed she was emotionally cheating on him with.
OP didn’t intend to keep it a secret, but she didn’t tell her family because no one has mentioned her name in the house for the past four or five years, and OP didn’t feel it was necessary to bring it up.
However, OP’s sister found out about it.
Her Family Found Out About Their Friendship
OP’s sister, who is 24 years old, told their mother and brother about it, and all three of them confronted OP about it during dinner.
OP’s mother criticized her for doing so, saying that the ex broke the brother’s heart so severely that he hasn’t been able to date anyone else since she dumped him and that he was getting ready to propose before she dumped him.
OP’s brother never mentioned he was planning a proposal when they broke up as he simply said that they broke up because of emotional cheating.
OP’s brother claimed that he was surprised that OP would agree and that making OP the bridesmaid was his ex’s sneaky subtle way of getting back at him. OP’s sister agreed as well.
OP sincerely doubts that, but didn’t argue about it.
She’s Going to Be Bridesmaid
OP has already purchased a dress and had it tailored since she really wants to support her friend on her special day.
So, that evening, before OP returned to her hostel, she admitted to her brother that she had never intended to upset him and that his ex and OP had remained in touch even after they broke up.
When OP asked him whether he would be cool with her going, he replied he didn’t like it but he said it’s fine if OP wants to go.
OP’s mother and sister continue to warn her that she shouldn’t go and that if she did, she would be the worst sister ever.
Now OP is in conflict and she took to Reddit to ask for opinions.
She Should Gp With Her Brother’s Support
Several Redditors commented that OP was not wrong and many said that OP doesn’t need to listen to her mom and sister as their opinions are irrelevant, and since her brother said “he’s fine with it,” OP is good to go.
One Reddit user wrote, “You talked things out with your brother and he now understands your pov. Go and support your friend.”
But another Redditor wrote, “Your brother told you she cheated on him, but you kept contact anyway. Now your whole family is against it, but you want to go and support a cheater. I would disown you if you were my sister.”
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cookie Studio. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.