A pregnant woman took to the Reddit board to see if she was in the wrong for stopping their mother-in-law from meeting their newborn until all family members can make it at the same time.
All Grandparents Present
The Original Poster (OP) informed her mother-in-law that no one would be permitted to see her twins after their birth until her own parents arrived from France to ensure that everyone met the babies simultaneously and fairly, as her mother-in-law had a tendency to call and gloat to OP’s parents.
Her mother-in-law expressed displeasure at not being able to take pictures of the newborns at the hospital to post on social media, despite OP having previously stated that she did not want any pictures of her children online.
OP notes that her mother-in-law has other grandchildren and that this is not her first grandchild.
A Photo Opportunity
However, it is OP’s parents’ first grandchild.
She observes that her mother-in-law uses her other grandchildren as a photo opportunity to showcase her life on Instagram and make her estranged family envious.
She’s a “Social” Grandma
OP also said that her mother-in-law’s involvement with her grandchildren is limited to social media posts.
OP relocated from France to Canada for work and decided to stay.
While she loves living in Canada, she wishes her family were closer, as her parents and grandparents are very involved in her life and call her every day to check in.
OP is concerned that her parents will be devastated to miss the hospital experience during the birth of her twins.
A History of This Behavior
She is particularly worried about her mother-in-law sharing pictures online or showing hospital photos to her own mother, as she has a history of upsetting OP’s mother in this way.
OP shares that her mother-in-law had previously ruined their pregnancy announcement by texting OP’s mother before they had a chance to share the news in person.
OP shares that due to her twin pregnancy and lack of prior childbirth experience, her obstetrician believes it is safer to schedule a cesarean delivery.
OP plans to follow her doctor’s advice and undergo the procedure.
Time to Themselves
Given the potential physical and emotional strain of a c-section and the arrival of two newborns, OP believes it would be beneficial for everyone to wait until her parents arrive from France before meeting the twins.
This would give her private bonding time and allow everyone to meet the babies together.
OP’s partner fully supports her decision to delay family visits until after her parents’ arrival.
Much Needed Help
OP mentioned that her parents will be staying in the basement apartment of her and her partner’s house, which is their usual arrangement when they visit.
This setup will allow OP and her partner to take breaks and rest during their hospital stay, which will be greatly appreciated after the birth of their twins.
Her Mother-in-Law Says She’s Missing Out
OP’s mother-in-law feels that she is being prevented from experiencing the joys of being a grandmother, as OP has decided against having a baby shower and plans to delay visits until her parents arrive.
Plenty of Time Together
In response, OP has reassured her mother-in-law that she will have ample opportunities to spend time with her grandchildren, including more birthday parties and additional time with the children, compared to OP’s parents who live on a different continent.
Making a Scene
Despite the explanation, the mother-in-law cried during dinner in front of the whole family, but OP and her partner remained firm in their decision.
OP’s parents have been informed of the c-section and are planning to travel as soon as possible, possibly within 3-4 days of the birth.
They will even come sooner if they can schedule a c-section date.
Meeting the Babies
OP believes that everyone will receive a picture of the babies from the hospital, and all family members are welcome to meet the newborns together.
OP wonders if they are in the wrong for their decision but feels that they have taken reasonable steps to accommodate all family members while prioritizing the safety and well-being of the newborns and themselves.
Many Reddit users think that OP is not in the wrong for wanting privacy and not allowing anyone to see her twins until her parents arrive from France.
While some people disagree with her reasoning for not allowing her mother-in-law to meet the babies first, most believe that OP’s decision is reasonable and that her mother-in-law is unreasonable.
Focus on You
Some users suggest that OP should stop caring about her mother-in-law’s feelings and focus on her own and the babies’ well-being.
Others recommend that OP’s husband manage the communication with her mother-in-law and that OP sets clear boundaries with her about taking pictures of the babies and posting them on social media.
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