A story of a frustrated girlfriend who is unhappy that her boyfriend doesn’t contribute.
Trouble at Home
Today, tensions are running high between Michaela (28f) and her boyfriend (27m).
A Wake Up Call
Both of them woke up to a call from his coworker because he was late.
He insists that they, including their one-year-old who shares a room with them, all slept through his alarm, but Michaela isn’t buying it.
He Was Exhausted
She questioned him about setting the alarm in the first place, and he started complaining about needing more sleep.
Fed Up With His Complaining
To be honest, Michaela is getting tired of this.
Night Owl No More
Normally, he’s good at waking up for alarms, but for the past three weeks, he has been complaining about not being able to stay up until 10:30-11 pm anymore.
His alarm goes off at six, but he snoozes it a couple of times and usually doesn’t need to be at work until 6:30-7 am.
Hard Physical Work Tires Him Out
Granted, he works in a physically demanding job building in-ground pools, often enduring the heat all day.
He typically comes home around 2-4 pm, with the occasional long day where he stays until 5 pm (which has only happened twice).
Exhausted All the Time
Understandably, he must be exhausted when he gets home.
What bothers Michaela is that he doesn’t seem to put any effort into the house or his family.
Bothersome Bathroom Session
When he comes home, he rushes to the bathroom for his daily half-hour poop session.
Disengaged and High
Then, he sits on the front porch for another half hour to an hour, smoking a bowl and a cigarette.
After that, he simply stares at his phone all night until they shower, with him taking 3-4 additional smoke breaks after dinner.
She Just Doesn’t Get It
He claims that Michaela isn’t being understanding, but she genuinely doesn’t understand.
Her day starts at 7 am, getting three kids up and dropping two off at school by 8 am.
Her Schedule is Packed
She gets to come home, tackle the laundry, feed the baby, and do the dishes before working as a waitress at 10 am, five days a week, until around 4:30 pm.
She Makes Sure Everyone’s Needs Are Met
Once she’s back home, she immediately jumps into checking homework, cooking dinner (often needing to make a store run first), managing showers for the kids, and cleaning up after dinner.
She’s Running on Very Little Sleep
Only after everyone else is taken care of can she shower and go to sleep, usually around 12:30 am-1 am.
He Doesn’t Contribute Enough
Now, the phrase “he doesn’t contribute enough” can have various meanings.
It could refer to emotional support for Michaela and the kids, helping out with dinner or supervising the kids, or even financial contributions.
Their Combined Finances Make Him Unhappy
Although he earns good money, Michaela feels like he resents the fact that they typically break even, sometimes with her bringing home a little more.
Regardless of his bank account balance, she often ends up financially supporting things.
Pay Attention to the Kids
Considering all of this, Michaela believes he should be doing more to help out.
She thinks he should put the phone down and pay more attention to the kids.
How Does Smoking Take So Much of His Time?
She finds it excessive that smoking a cigarette takes him half an hour every time.
He Needs to Do More Around the House
Simple tasks like cooking dinner a few nights a week or taking out the trash, or unloading the dishwasher would go a long way. They’ve had lengthy discussions about this in the past, but he tends to dismiss her concerns.
His lack of help is causing her to resent him, and she doesn’t think she’s wrong for asking him to put in a little more effort.
Is He Really That Tired?
However, she also wonders if he truly is that exhausted.
She took to Reddit to see if they could offer any advice.
Redditors had a lot to say about Michaela’s situation. Some comments empathized with her, while others took a more critical stance.
Several Redditors supported Michaela and understood her frustrations.
Addiction is the Issue
They acknowledged that her boyfriend seemed to lack ambition, responsibility, and effort.
They pointed out his pot and nicotine addiction, emphasizing that this was part of who he was and unlikely to change.
A One-Sided Relationship
Many advised her to consider if she wanted to continue in a one-sided relationship, where she would be responsible for the majority of household chores, caregiving, and goal-setting.
Is This the Life Partner You Want?
They encouraged her to evaluate whether she wanted to spend her life with someone who showed little willingness to change.
Partnerships Mean Sharing
Others shared their own experiences and urged Michaela to take action. They emphasized the importance of equal financial contributions and shared responsibilities in a partnership.
Get Out Before It Gets Worse
Some suggested planning an exit from the relationship, as they believed it would not improve with time. They warned about the resentment that could build up and hinder future co-parenting.
A Touch of Sympathy
A few Redditors mentioned that Michaela’s boyfriend might be mentally exhausted with his life, seeking escape but not actively engaging with her.
Get to Therapy
They proposed relationship counseling as a potential option but acknowledged that, ultimately, she would need to decide between staying in a loveless relationship or ending it.
Know Your Worth
The story of Michaela’s struggle with her boyfriend’s lack of contribution to the household serves as a reminder of the importance of recognizing one’s own worth and prioritizing personal happiness in relationships.
It is natural to desire an equal partnership where responsibilities are shared and both parties contribute to the family’s well-being.
Communicate to Avoid Resentment
It is essential to establish open and honest communication in relationships and address issues promptly. When one partner consistently fails to contribute or fulfill their responsibilities, it can lead to resentment and imbalance.
It is important to remember that everyone deserves to be in a relationship where both partners actively contribute to the well-being of the household and family.
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Arsenii Palivoda. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.