A mother asked for advice from the Reddit community after her son asked her to postpone her planned renovations and pay for his college fees. His college tuition was supposed to be paid for by his conservative grandma until he unwittingly came out as gay.
The son came out to his mother, Kate, and her husband when he was 14, but they kept it a family secret.
Kate and her husband are both atheists and support the LGBTQ+ community and are proud of their son for coming out.
Intolerance for LGBTQ+
Kate’s mother-in-law, on the other hand, is a devout catholic and is extremely intolerant of gay people.
She is wealthy and Kate’s children were told from a young age their college would be paid for as long as they attended a private Christian or Catholic school.
Kate’s mother-in-law believes this will keep them from partying, having premarital sex, etc.
A Difference of Opinion
Kate doesn’t agree with this and has argued her children getting the best education possible regardless of the school’s religious affiliation should be the mother-in-law’s top priority, but she refuses to change her mind.
Kate’s son chose a Christian college one state over to attend.
He graduated with a lot of college credit after taking many AP classes in high school and his degree will be done in three years instead of four.
He has just started his second year, which has already been paid for.
Unwittingly Coming Out
During Labor Day weekend, Kate’s son came home to celebrate his grandma’s birthday.
He told one of his cousins that he was talking to a boy at his college. He thought he could trust him.
Cousin Let’s the Secret Out
The cousin seemed supportive according to her son, but he inadvertently told his mom and dad, Kate’s sister-in-law and brother-in-law.
They are just as religious as her mother-in-law and outed her son to her.
Mother-In-Law Is Furious
The mother-in-law was livid and called Kate, informed her she will not be making any future payments toward his tuition, and told her to relay the message to him as she will no longer be speaking to him.
Kate Can’t Afford Her Son’s Education
Kate has often told her son not to come out to his grandma, cousins, aunt or uncle until he had finished college.
She hates that he can’t be himself, but she cannot afford his college.
Plans to Cut Off Mother-In-Law
Kate doesn’t like her mother-in-law and will be going no contact once her other two children get their chance to have their tuition paid for as well.
Her son is okay with Kate waiting to do so for the sake of his siblings.
Student Loans and Debt
Unfortunately, her son will have to take out student loans and pay the cost of his final year.
He is obviously devastated he will not have his final year of college paid for next year and that his cousin is not someone he can trust.
The Bank of Mom & Dad
But he now wants Kate and her husband to foot the bill next year.
Parents Won’t Help Pay
They currently have $25k saved up, which they planned on using for much-needed kitchen renovations.
Their oven barely works, their dishwasher doesn’t work, and the kitchen is worn down and outdated.
Kate Needs a Kitchen
Kate’s son is calling her insensitive for prioritizing a “remodel” over his education.
Kate has explained to him that their kitchen is falling apart, is much needed, and is nowhere near the cost of his tuition.
She explained that even if they postponed it, they would still be short as his private school is VERY expensive.
Take Responsibility for Your Own Life
Kate feels like he is an adult and he needs to be the one to deal with the consequences, not her and her husband.
Some stated that Kate was being selfish in the situation for not helping out her son in this very difficult situation.
One wrote that Kate was being harsh for saying her son had to deal with the consequences when the situation rose up simply because he was being true to himself.
Other Reddit users came to Kate’s defense and said she guided her son to do what he could to not lose his tuition money, but he still chose to do so.
One stated “He knew what was at stake, he knew outing himself would cost his “free ride” He freaking knew that waving his flag was going to cost him the rest of his free education. Why tf did he do that?”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Luis Molinero. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Names have been changed: Source: Reddit