The poster has been in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend for three years. They come from different countries but are now living in her home country. Her boyfriend’s family lives in his home country; sadly, he doesn’t see them often.
All Sunshine and Rainbows at the Beginning
Amy has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for three years.
They’re in love and have some big plans – they are in the process of looking for a house together, and they have been discussing engagement rings.
Visiting the Family
Last weekend they finally managed to get over to her boyfriend’s home country and visit his family!
While they were having dinner, they mentioned to his family that they were going to move in and potentially get engaged, as it’s a big step in their relationship.
His parents and brothers expressed their happiness for the couple; however, things took a turn when his youngest sister-in-law asked Amy if she was going to take the test.
Amy had no idea what she was talking about, and it was here she learned about his family’s tradition of testing future daughters-in-law.
Her boyfriend’s family explained that it was a family tradition for the future mother-in-law to test the future daughters-in-law to see if they were good enough for her sons.
An Old-Fashioned Tradition
Apparently, the mother and aunts went through the same test.
The tests included things like how clean they could keep a home, how well they could cook, and their manners, among other things!
Amy explained that while the test consisted of essential life skills that most people learn from childhood, she found the idea ridiculous.
Her Boyfriend’s Choice
She believed that if she was good enough for her boyfriend, he should be the one to decide that.
Furthermore, she didn’t fit into their targeted category, as she has no interest in being a stay-at-home wife or mother.
In his mom’s words, “you can’t be a good stay-at-home wife or mother if you can’t be a good homemaker, and I want to make sure of that.”
While she respects her boyfriend’s mom and brother’s wives for being stay-at-home moms, she’s never thought about quitting her career and did not under any circumstance do anything to make her partner believe that she would compromise on that.
She’s a strong woman, and she feels deeply about this.
Amy thinks the tradition is outdated, which is technically accurate – it’s been a rite of passage for generations in their family.
She believes that it’s unfair to judge someone’s worthiness based on their homemaking skills, especially when those skills are not a priority for her.
She would rather hire staff and buy homemaking gadgets than do chores herself.
Giving Her Perspective
She told her boyfriend’s mother these views, but sadly this resulted in an argument that ruined dinner and their visit in general.
Her partner doesn’t care if Amy is a working wife or a stay-at-home wife, but he thinks she should have just taken the test because “it’s just a test.”
He believes it’s a fun tradition that everyone was looking forward to and that Amy should have gone along with it anyway – he told her that it’s not like they would reject her if she failed.
Refusal to Budge
Amy’s refusal to take the test has caused a rift between her and the family.
She feels guilty for ruining their visit and wonders if she should have just gone along with the tradition to keep the peace.
Stand Up for Yourself
However, she also believes that it’s important to stand up for herself and her beliefs, even if it means going against tradition.
She felt like she was in an impossible situation: they’d judge her for not participating if she said no.
If she said yes and didn’t do well because her parents raised her in a culture that valued a career over stay-at-home wife skills, they might hold it over her head for years.
Wait for It….
Redditors said the whole situation was absurd.
They thought the idea of a mother-in-law testing her future daughter-in-law like this in 2023 is outdated and sexist, especially when Amy has a career and has no interest in being a stay-at-home wife and mother.
However, who’s to say what family traditions are right and wrong? New members of the family had done this test for generations, and while it was old and traditional, it was a strong part of their identity as a family!
It would be interesting to see this situation with the roles reversed. If her boyfriend was the one who had to take a test to prove his worthiness to Amy’s family, how would he feel? He might feel insulted and disrespected or go into it with all his effort! After all, family is important, and getting on with your future in-laws is a big priority for many people wanting to get engaged!
One Reddit user said, “It sounds demeaning and patronizing. If your bf thinks you’re good enough for him, you shouldn’t have to prove yourself to anyone else.”
What do you think about this test? Is it outdated, sexist, or just a fun way to welcome new females into the family? Would you do it?
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The post Mother’s Bizarre “Future Daughter-In-Law Test” Will Leave You Open Mouthed – Would You Do It? first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.