This woman is asking her niece to pick up the slack with her mother’s care, but is her niece already doing too much?
A Close Relationship With Her Niece
Jane, a 26-year-old woman, is the daughter of the Original Poster’s (OP) sister, who tragically passed away four years ago after a lengthy illness.
Despite the difficulties she faced growing up due to her mother’s illness, Jane excelled academically and secured a job in her university town, an hour and a half away from her grandmother, OP’s mother.
Caring for Her Grandmother
Despite the distance, Jane continued to visit her grandmother every weekend, taking care of her needs and even taking days off to visit her in the hospital, pay her bills, and care for her dog.
Unavailable to Help
OP, who lives only ten minutes away from her mother, works nights and therefore sleeps during the day.
Her two sons, aged 20 and 22, are still young and unable to help with their grandmother’s needs.
She Supports Her Grandmother
Thus, Jane has been the main source of support for the poster’s mother, providing companionship and assistance whenever needed.
Two years ago, Jane met her boyfriend Daniel (30M), and they began a relationship.
And since then, OP’s mother felt increasingly lonely and has been in and out of the hospital.
OP asked Jane to call or visit her mother whenever she could, as she was unable to do so due to her work schedule.
Jane also looked after her grandmother’s dog when she was in the hospital and even took her to medical appointments during the day when OP was sleeping.
She Has Been Increasingly Absent
However, Jane has been doing less for her grandmother and the woman in recent months.
She no longer runs errands or drops by to pick up the dog early in the morning when her grandmother doesn’t feel well.
See How It Turns Out
Instead, she asks to see how the situation goes before deciding whether to help.
Less and Less Contact
Jane has also reduced her visits from every weekend to just one time a week, and she only calls her grandmother every other day.
As a result, OP has been left with more responsibility for her mother’s care, often paying bills and running errands, which has caused her stress and inconvenience.
She feels Jane needs to step up and be less selfish, as it is not fair to her or her mother, who has already suffered enough with her daughter’s passing.
This Is on You
Last-Possible-3960 said, “It’s YOUR mother, man, and that is how this goes.”
Another exclaimed, “I stopped reading after you made excuses for your ADULT sons (that live ten minutes from THEIR Grandmother). She’s YOUR MOTHER, your family lives close.
YOU ALL should be doing the MAJORITY of care. Your sons are beyond old enough to contribute to caring for Grandma, but the MAJORITY of care should be on YOU!!”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.