A Reddit user told how she recently bought a small present for her niece and how it backfired into a fallout in the family. The Original Poster (OP) is currently dealing with a controversial issue in her family and seeks outside opinions.
Her older brother (G) and sister-in-law (V) have a daughter (L) and an unconventional parenting style that includes not celebrating birthdays or giving birthday gifts.
This decision was made by V, who believes that recognizing birthdays and providing gifts can lead to spoiling the child and an inflated sense of self-importance on their special day.
Although OP finds it strange, she respects their wishes and doesn’t celebrate their family’s birthdays, including L’s.
This approach is controversial in OP’s family, as they value the celebration of holidays and birthdays, but they respect G and V’s parenting style.
OP and L are pretty close as she is her favorite aunt.
OP states that the whole birthday thing wasn’t an issue because L was still too young to understand.
But now that she’s 6 she understands the concept of a birthday and is confused as to why she “doesn’t have one.”
No Birthday Talk
V went as far as to talk to L’s teacher, explaining her style of parenting, and the teacher now doesn’t acknowledge L’s birthday because V will have a fit and complain to the school board if she does.
Last weekend was OP’s fiancé’s birthday, and on Sunday her family and his family gathered at their house to have a small birthday dinner for him and a cake.
When it was time for the cake and to blow out the candles L asked the fiancé if she can try. He said sure, as long as it was okay with V and G.
V looked hesitant but said yes. So, L helped OP’s fiancé blow out his candles and made a wish with him.
As a joke, OP’s fiancé asked her what she wished for and she said, “A cake on my birthday.”
First Real Birthday Celebration
L had her birthday on Thursday, and on Sunday, OP asked G and V if they could take L out for dinner, to which V agreed.
Cake and a Gift
During dinner, the family got their server to bring out a cupcake with a candle in it for L to blow out, without singing happy birthday.
Afterward, OP gave L a gift bag containing a heart-shaped necklace, which L loved along with the cupcake.
The Truth Is Out
V and G became angry with OP and their fiancé when they found out that the couple took L out for dinner and gave her a gift and cupcake without their permission.
V accused OP and their fiancé of not respecting their parenting style and said that L is not allowed to be around them alone anymore.
OP tried to explain that no one acknowledged L’s birthday during the dinner and that the gift and cupcake were harmless.
However, V and G still believe that OP was wrong, and the rest of the family thinks V’s stance on birthdays and gifts is strange.
Readers Are Furious
The Reddit community went crazy over this story, adding many comments to the thread.
One wrote, “Parenting style? You can’t just do something incredibly socially unacceptable and/or cruel and call it a parenting style.”
Another stated, “I had a Jehovah’s Witness friend growing up who didn’t get to celebrate a single birthday until their early 20s when they were kicked out of their family/church for coming out. And they’d told me in the past how much it sucked watching other people have birthdays growing up and never getting one. They always appreciated the people who did wish them a happy birthday when they saw them at school because that was the only acknowledgment he got. Kids notice this stuff and carry it with them into adulthood.”
Most of the comments favored the poster deciding to celebrate L’s birthday with the cupcake and a small gift. They believed that the child will only benefit from this act, not be spoiled by it.
What do you think? Should she have given the gift to her niece? Leave a comment to say more!
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The post Parents Ban Birthdays Because It Will Spoil Children and Give Them an Ego! Do You Agree? first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Khosro. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.