A young man who identifies as gay struggles with the ghost of his father’s homophobic past. Despite years of emotional neglect and hostility, a sudden gesture from the father leaves the son caught between doubt and hope. Is this long-absent father truly extending an olive branch, or is it just another act of manipulation? Here’s the riveting narrative that triggered a wave of impassioned responses from the Reddit community.
His Relationship With His Father Is Limited
The Original Poster (OP) is a 29-year-old who has gone “low contact” with his 60-year-old father.
Though OP has a good relationship with his mother, he barely talks with his father while at home.
His Mom Celebrates His Sexuality
OP is gay, and he and his mother recently attended the local Pride.
His mother had previously participated in parades and supported OP fully.
Picking Up Mom From the Pride Parade
They stayed there for a while, and later she planned to walk home while OP went to meet his friends.
But things took a turn when OP’s father arrived at the event to pick up OP’s mother.
Father Is a Homophobe
OP shares that his father has a history of being extremely homophobic, so he couldn’t imagine him attending this event.
He Was a Terrible Father
In addition to his bigotry, he was a bad father to OP overall.
OP says he can name the good things he did for him on one hand, but he never showed OP love or spent time with him.
Sexist, Misogynistic, Xenophobe
OP says his father is a bad person since he is also sexist, misogynistic, xenophobic, and generally unpleasant.
He’d Always Been a Bully
As a result of the extensive bullying and emotional abuse OP had as a child, he decided to avoid a relationship with his father.
His father stayed for a while but didn’t speak with OP and then later left with his mother.
His Brother Had Followed in His Dad’s Footsteps
After a few days, OP called his brother. OP says that his brother bullied him, just like his father did while he was growing up.
But, since then, the relationship has been repaired thanks to the brother’s behavior change and sincere regrets.
Closer Than Expected
Though they are not very close, they talk around once a month.
An Emotional Phone Call
During the call, OP’s brother said he had a difficult message for OP to hear.
He had spoken to their father, who had “broken down in tears,” and told him that despite his best efforts, he has been unable to mend OP’s relationship.
Claims of Acceptance and Pride
The father has said that he apparently accepted OP and tried to build a relationship with OP by showing up at Pride.
He Was Doubtful He’d Really Changed
But OP didn’t believe it and said that because their father continues to be emotionally manipulative and abusive towards their mother, he wasn’t receptive to the idea that he has changed.
Why Hadn’t He Spoken Directly With Him?
Plus, OP told him that his father never spoke to him.
Nothing on his end even remotely suggested that his father was trying to make things right with him, not even on the day of Pride.
His Mom Had No Idea Her Husband Had Been Emotional
Later, OP informed his mother about this, and she claimed she didn’t know he was upset.
He Didn’t Want to Heal the Bond
OP’s brother asked him to start trying to mend the connection, but OP firmly refused.
His Brother Was so Mad That He Was Indifferent
Then OP’s brother became furious and called OP an names for being indifferent. But OP says he simply doesn’t care.
He says he’s been in therapy for years and accepted the fact that he was never raised by a real father.
He Doesn’t Think His Father Will Change
Some of OP’s friends agree with his brother and told OP that he should try to repair his relationship with his father and that maybe he has changed.
It’s Just an Act
But OP says he doesn’t believe his father will really change and that the whole thing is an act.
Should He Try Harder
OP took to Reddit to ask whether he was in the wrong for not trying to mend the relationship, and hundreds of comments poured in supporting him.
That’s No Big Gesture
One Reddit user wrote, “Showing up to pick up your mother is not a gesture of reconciliation, and neither is using your brother to guilt you into accepting it. A gesture would be him coming to you and asking what he could do to heal the relationship. Also, a direct, explicit apology would not be a bad first step.”
You Know the Truth
Another Redditor pointed out that OP knows who his father really is, and that he does not have to let him into his life to appease others.
He Doesn’t Owe His Father Anything
A third Reddit user commented, “I have had a parent come back into my life or “Make an effort” now that I’m older, and as far as I’m concerned it’s too little too late. you don’t need to subject yourself to somebody just because they are family. If you don’t want to forgive him and don’t want him around or even present more than he is, that’s totally up to you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.”
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You Reap What You Sow: Their Children Left Homeless While Their Aunt Sits In Her Large Spacious House! Should She Help?
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Revenge: After He Betrayed Her, She Waited Until the Kids Were Grown to Rock Her Husband’s World!
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Mother-In-Law Is About to Have Plans for a Family Vacation Shattered! It’s Time She Quit the Mom-Shaming and Outdated Advice!
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The post Pride Parade With Homophobic Dad? Gay Son Isn’t Buying His Abusive Father’s Fake Attempt at Acceptance – But His Brother Insists He’s a Changed Man first appeared on Wealthy Living.
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