This woman found out her friend’s partner harbors a secret hatred for her, causing a shocking and devastating rupture in their relationship.
A Long-Term Friendship
It was a friendship of fifteen years, built on the foundation of shared interests and companionship. The two women, the original poster (OP – 38f) and Ally (40f) met as young, single colleagues and bonded over their love of the arts, theater, and dining out.
They were the youngest people in their office and quickly became good friends, spending many social evenings together.
But then, Ally met her partner, Matt, who was the complete opposite of her.
A New Boyfriend
He was an avid football fan, loyal to one team and openly hostile towards their rivals. He spent most of his free time watching matches at the pub with his male friends or playing sports with them.
Ally, on the other hand, didn’t care about sports. She tried to involve Matt in her interests, like going to the theater, but he showed little enthusiasm, only agreeing to go to serious plays.
At first, OP tried to support their relationship but found it difficult to connect with Matt.
She Told Her How She Felt
She was brutally honest with Ally when asked for her opinion, expressing her doubts about the match.
She did not like his crude behavior, drinking habits, and lack of refinement, which were completely different from Ally’s sophisticated personality.
The criticism hurt Ally, but she still tried to maintain the friendship. She engineered it so that the woman never saw Matt, who was “always busy” whenever there was a party or gathering.
Her New Boyfriend Shared Some of His Interests
Over time, they both moved on with their lives. Ally and Matt had two children, who were football fanatics like their dad, while OP met her significant other, Edward, who also shared Matt’s passion for football.
However, when the woman suggested a couples’ outing, Ally became non-committal.
She kept stalling, saying Matt was too busy to join them. But when pushed, she finally revealed the real reason for Matt’s reluctance: he didn’t like the woman.
Her Boyfriend Didn’t Like Her
He found her judgmental and “too much,” which completely shocked OP.
Feeling hurt and betrayed, she confronted Ally and said some things she now regrets.
She tried to apologize, but Ally refused to speak to her. The friendship that had lasted for fifteen years was now in ruins, torn apart by the unexpected revelation of Matt’s dislike for OP.
What Reddiors Said
Apprehensive-Fan-250 said, “‘Brutally honest’ is always code for ‘excuse to be mean.’ And now you’re hurt that your own behavior got flipped on you? And you doubled down when told so? Maybe this is the time for some honest self-reflection.”
Another wrote, “You said a bunch of incredibly rude things to someone’s new partner, then one day decided you liked them actually, and didn’t realize that everything you’ve ever done to them caused them to form an opinion of you?”
What do you think? Should she be upset about her friend’s partner not liking her, or do you reap what you sow? Has this ever happened to you?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cast Of Thousands. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.